You , Me And Sex (GirlXGirl)

Guilt

Mia's Pov

'So we got to leave now.' She said with a tone reflecting on the sadness.' Yes, I guess it's time to get home. Do text me at least. I miss you.' I replied to her as we walked back home and when i noticed Nicki with her mobile it suddenly hit me that I have not being checking my mobile ever since morning.

' Oh shit!' I uttered as I checked the notification of my phone. There were about 15 missed calls , 10 messages, mostly from Ryan and Kate. Something was wrong as all of the messages were urgent. I wondered what it could be. 'What's so wrong in your mobile?' Nicki asked suspiciously. 'What , nothing..' I tried to covered up my nervousness and I put away my mobile not to have her check the message. She looked on at me clearly not believing any of my talks. 'Actually , It's Kate. I had an assignment to complete with her which completely went over my head.' I lied perfectly while feeling guilty . 'Oh ok. Then rush back home, deal with her about this. Come on.' She said as she stroke my hair and she wait for me to leave. 'I'll miss you.' I took a quick peck on her cheek before heading back home.

On the way, I dialed Kate's number to have an idea about what's going on. 'Hey what's wrong?' I questioned her. 'When the hell you were?' She said in a hysterical tone. 'Hey calm down, relax and say what's wrong? You are scaring me.' I tried keep calm and keep digging what really went wrong. 'Did you read your text?' She continue to panic. 'Stop freaking out. Just say. You are scaring me.' I snapped at her. 'Its Ryan.' She blurt out. 'Now what?' I became alarmed by the name she said. 'Oh shit. Don't tell me it's that.' My own voice became inaudible. 'Just get to the address I sent you.' Kate's voice brought me out of my trance. 'Ok.' I responded as I hurry my way to get where I ought to be.

'Ryan, Open the door it's me , Mia. ' I made my first attempt voicing out my identity to help him get out of his dark world. ' No use, he won't open it , I've being trying this for hour now.' Kate said in a discouraging tone. 'How come you got here?' I expressed my curiosity to Kate. 'Well he was trying to get to you , he tried me to get to you but no use that's why I got here but he already locked himself.' Kate explained the scenario as the way he mentioned about his suicidal thoughts came again and again in my mind. 'What if he already did something wrong?' I couldn't help but feel scared. ' No because I could hear crashing sound inside just before you enter.' Kate reassured me as I get a bit of hope. 'What if we asked for help from outside, neighbors or medical help?' I suggest to Kate. 'You think it will be a good idea?' Kate tried to analysed my proposed solution. 'Of course. Call the ambulance. I'll try get him out in my way.' I tried keep positive vibes around me , it can make all better.

'Hey , you said that you will let me help you. You are backing off from your promise. I told you remind me of someone and I can never bear to see that someone in pain , I always protect that person as I can't let that person get hurt. How can you think? I can let you be hurt?' I try communicating with him with a hope that he might think back our conversation and get back to me. 'You freaking don't care like everyone else!' He sounded like in rage as his scream echo around the house. Kate looked hopefully at me encouraging me to continue as its the first time he communicate with us by his voice. 'Ryan look , stop that open the door. I am here for you. I damn care about you. Otherwise you think I would have being here? Knocking desperately on the door to get you out.' I try pacify him making him believe about the caring feeling I do have within my heart for him. 'You lied like everyone else.' He insisted on his own built up thought. 'So you want me to leave?' I exclaimed. 'Yes leave like everyone do' He voiced out his pain and loneliness. 'Hey am I your friend? Can't I come to you? Don't keep this barrier. Please let me be a good friend? Its hurting me much more because yes I was careless , I was careless by not being here when my friend needed me. Just give me a second chance please?' I sobbed as I let out my genuine guilty feeling. 'No one think and know about how guilty and burden I feel. I'm exhausted with all this. I want all this yet all is in a complicated phase. I am sorry. Sorry is all I can offered to all. It's hurting me not to be able to fulfill my promise. I am not being sincere and it trouble me.' I sobbed as I settled on the floor against the wall next to the door. I let out all my insecurity , frustration and all the guilt within me.

The creaking sound of the door as its being opened grab our attention as we turn to him immediately and it was a complete chaos. The room looked like an aftermath of a storm. There was books ,pieces of glasses, technology gadget broken into pieces , all scattered on the floor. The floor was covered up with blood. He settled down on the floor looking all vulnerable and scattered similar to all others things on the floor. His head kept on his knee , his arms wrapped around his legs which further more reflect on his vulnerability and loneliness. I placed my hand over his shoulder to make him look up to which he jerked away my hand.

'Hey , won't you even look at me?' I asked in a comforting tone demanding for his attention. Kate stood right next to me equally worried as I. 'I'm so sorry for troubling you.' he whispered as he look up to us with red eyes. 'I'm sorry for not being there. I'm being a bad friend. 'I'm so sorry. ' I said pulling him in a comforting hug as I noticed the badly bruised hands of his. I wonder what could get him to this extent. Kate looked at me worriedly. I thought about the reason of his actions but now all we could do is to act upon his injury and get him to the hospital. His state was bad and I feel more responsible as I was not here when he searched for me.