The weekend seemed to drag on really slowly. I had nothing to consider. I knew what I wanted. I was just worried that Mr Way would either pretend nothing had happened or had talked himself out of it. He had already done that a bit already.
By the time Monday was finally here, I actually felt slightly nervous. Part of me knew that he was going to let me down but I still felt hopeful, just in case.
Mr Way was already in his classroom when I made my way to Drama, along with most of the class. I knew he wouldn't speak to me about it now so I pretended nothing had happened. I was in Drama after all. This was the only place acting was allowed.
He seemed to be avoiding me at first, spending more time with the other group instead of ours. Although, halfway through the lesson, he came over to ours and watched our rehearsal silently.
I definitely felt on show. I knew now that I wasn't being paranoid or anything. He had to be watching me.
I used his advice and changed my physicality and tone of voice while I played my part. I tried not to look at him but I couldn't help it at one point and if I wasn't mistaken, he was smiling a little.
At the end of the lesson, he stood by the door and wouldn't let anyone out unless they gave him the essay. I obviously hadn't written one and I hoped he was still allowing me to get away with it. I made sure I was the last one out anyway and I felt nervous about being face to face with him.
Two people who hadn't done the homework were stood next to him and when he got to me, he said, "Hang on, Frank," and turned to them. After he had a word with them about staying on top of deadlines, he gave them both an extension until the end of the week and let them go. That was pretty nice of him. Most teachers would just give them detention and make them give it in the next day. Mr Way really was a considerate teacher.
We were alone and I knew I was probably going to be late to German. Were we going to have a talk now? Surely he had another lesson.
He smiled a small smile, "I have a meeting during the free so could you come back at the end of the day? We need to talk properly with no interruptions."
Before I could say anything, he walked back to his desk and said over his shoulder, "I'll see you later."
I felt a little confused. How was he acting so relaxed while I was practically shitting bricks? I now had to wait even longer to see what was going to happen. This was torture.
Obviously, I paid little to no attention in my other classes and the free felt way too long. By the time it finally was the end of the day, I had no idea what to expect. I knew this was too good to be true but I still went to his classroom anyway. I at least deserved to hear what his reasons were. Even though I was sure I already knew.
I knocked on the door hesitantly and opened it.
He looked up from his desk and smiled that same small smile as earlier. It was a pity smile wasn't it?
I came into the room and shut the door behind me, unsure if I should go over to him or not.
"Frank." He didn't move either. After an awkward couple of seconds, he said, "Come here, please."
I did as he asked and slowly walked over to him until I was a metre or two in front of him. I stayed silent. I was willing myself not to cry when he said it. I couldn't show him how invested I was already if he wasn't as well. That would just be sad.
He took a deep breath before saying, "Are you sure-"
"I am." I cut him off, determined to have my say in the matter as well.
"Here was me hoping you had changed your mind over the weekend." He sighed and rested on the edge of the desk.
"Really?" My voice was small, showing the disappointment I felt.
He stared at me for a moment before he looked down. "No. I would be lying if I said I didn't crave your affections."
I tried not to feel too happy by that. If he still shot me down, that would hurt even more.
"But?" I decided to help him out. There was no point in dragging this out. We both knew how this was going to end.
He looked up again. He seriously looked so angry and upset at the same time. "I'm your teacher. That's the but."
"I'm willing to look past that." I said.
He smirked and stood up properly again. "I know that. I'm not sure if I can though." His face dropped.
That was the part I didn't want to hear.
"You do know that we're going to have to forget about this, right?" He started fiddling with his hair out of uncomfortableness.
"What if I don't want to?" I stepped forward a little, surprised at my own confidence.
"Frank-"
"No." I needed to get this out. This wasn't going down without a fight. "I know I'm only seventeen but I'm not immature. It won't even seem like I'm that much younger. I'll be eighteen this year anyway."
"Frank, please." Mr Way sighed, "It isn't just the fact that you're underage. I'm your teacher. That in itself is illegal."
I knew I was losing this battle. The only thing I could do was use something else.
I moved closer to him slowly. "I know but you're more than just my teacher."
He bit his lip as I stopped right in front of him. I stared at him and all I could think about was him biting my lip instead of his own.
"I'm not just pretending nothing's happened." I said, "I really want you, Sir."
My last comment made his eyes close and he moaned quietly.
After a few moments, he whispered, "Get out..."
I frowned. I hadn't fucked this up already had I?
"Sir-"
"Get out!" He opened his eyes. "Please, just leave! I can't deal with this!" His voice rose with each word and I felt a little intimidated.
I opened and closed my mouth like a fish as he stared at me.
"Frank!"
"Okay." My voice was small and tears stung in my eyes. Before I could make it too obvious that I was going to cry like a loser, I turned and practically ran out of the room.
I felt like such an idiot. What was wrong with me?
---
This is so I don't get stabbed.
-Beth :3
