Weightless (H.S. BWWM)

If I Could Fly

It's been a few days since our...unorthodox apology and so far things have been great. It's a day by day process but we've been so wrapped up in one another that we haven't had much time for fighting. I realized the abusive qualities to my behavior and have decided that no matter what I'm going to give a solid effort to changing my ways, he's worth it. I can't guarantee that I'll be able to fully give him my heart just yet but I can try my best not to hurt his.

I watch him as he leaves out the front door with a trash bag full of takeout boxes we've collected since he's been home. Thank goodness for all the calories we've been burning because we've been packing them on with order after order of Chinese food. Our routine hasn't veered much from eating, having sex, and watching Empire on Hulu.

Pushing the power button on the remote E News pops up. He clearly has been sneaking and watching the Kardashians again. I roll my eyes. A headline rolls in, catching my attention before I can change the channel.

"Has Harry Styles and his latest lady called it quits? Or is the boy band hottie reverting back to his bachelor days prematurely?"

My finger involuntarily presses the button to turn the volume up. My heart feels like it's stopped beating, trying to hear what'll be said next.

"Mr. Styles is allegedly back on the market so watch out ladies," the male host says with a golden smile.

"I can hear the sighs of relief from all over the world Terry," the female host cuts in grinning giddily, "According to an interview he did at a fashion show in Paris this past week he had no idea where his latest, possibly ex, girlfriend, internet author Bailey Duncan, was."

"That's right Ariana," Terry says, "And if that wasn't bad enough, the British singer then said it didn't matter where she was because he was there with his ex, Tara Maverick, and to add insult to injury planted a big smooch on her cheek."
"Ouch," Ariana replies, feigning a pained expression, "We've reached out to Bailey's rep for comment but so far we've heard nothing back. Hopefully Bailey and Harry can work things out but if not he and Tara sure are cute."

"They sure are. We have the clip of the interview here, you be the judge," Terry grins pointing towards the camera.

As I watch I try to rationalize it in my head.

He was angry with me. He did this out of spite. I've been giving him every reason to act this way.

Fůck that.

I'm seething. I may be a little fůcked up emotionally and yes I take it out on our relationship from time to time but shįt like this is why I have issues trusting men. Whether he was kidding or he did this trying to get back at me it doesn't matter. He made me look like a fool to the world. Who knows how many times they've aired this since it happened. We've been so unplugged that I missed it.

Was that his intention? To keep me so doped up on dįck and Chinese food that I wouldn't notice his indiscretion?

The front door flies open and I leap to my feet ready to duke it out over this. As Harry appears around the corner I see an emotion on his face I don't see often, rage.

My eyes flit across his frame,checking for what could've possibly offended him so badly, and stop stalk stiff at his right hand. Clutched between his fingers is the box I thought I'd gotten rid of so perfectly.

The morning after our 'apology' I went to the bathroom and found I'd thrown the box away carelessly at the top of the trash. Had he stuck to his plan of staying overseas those extra days it wouldn't have been a problem but since he came back early I had to get rid of it more covertly. I've been holding it hostage ever since, trying to wait until trash day to get rid of it. I've hid it in what felt like a million different places until this morning when I knew he'd have to take the trash out. I snuck it inside of a takeout box and clasped the box closed so it couldn't easily escape, then pushed the box to the middle of the trash pile and covered it. It was a messy job but worth it once I saw him leave with the full bag of trash, none the wiser to the secrets it contained beneath the stench of soy sauce.
But now here he stands, red faced and breathing heavily, the evidence grasped in a grip so tight his knuckles are white.