Weightless (H.S. BWWM)

Say You Love Me

The night of the ball, Harry and I went home and had a few too many on top of the too many we'd already had. We ended up nursing each other's wounds from the knock down drag out brawl and then I spent the night in his arms talking about the weird stuff only being drunk or high can bring up in your mind. The last thing I remember asking him was if he thinks dogs remember the names their parents give them and then I fell asleep. As crazy as the night was it ended pretty peacefully.

The media and the fans however have been everything but passive since the video of the after party scrap surfaced. It's been two weeks and I still can't log into my Twitter without someone calling me a ghetto 'insert insult here.' Of course I caught all of the blame because I'm apparently the only change in Harry's life. He never got into fights before I came into the picture but now that I'm around he is, so clearly I'm the problem. In a sense they're right, I am at fault. The difference in Harry is internal, he feels I'm worth fighting for so he does, in every sense of the phrase. I'm not saying it's right, but it sure as hell is flattering in a basic instinct kind of way.

The media's been relentless but more than that we've had constant events to attend. Those few fleeting moments home alone after the brawl was the last peaceful time we've had in weeks. Summer event season has officially started and I couldn't be more tired of it already. There's been a surplus of events this year for Harry due to the number of establishments he's chosen to back. During their break in 2016 he threw his support behind an organization whose goal, ironically enough, is to stop cyber bullying. We're due to attend an event they're holding tonight and I'm dreading it.

Don't get me wrong, I love getting dressed up every now and again but my feet are so tired of heels it's insane. Last week we had three events in one day and two on the following - I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm trying to be a team player and hang in there but it's grating on my nerves. I suppose it wouldn't be as bad if when we attended these things I had some purpose other than standing or sitting in one spot while Harry floats around the room mingling. We walk in together but from the moment his feet touch the floor he goes into socialite mode and I get left behind. When it happened at the ball I assumed it was just... I don't know...habit - from flying solo to so many of these things before. But now, it's happening every time and becoming painfully obvious to anyone paying attention that he's purposely leaving me behind. I'm not sure of his reasoning for it but the endless naysayers online have given me a million different explanations.

As I read past a comment about me being his beard, Harry reaches over and closes the lid to my laptop where a bombardment of racist, sexist, and just down right mean remarks glare back at me. At this point nothing surprises me. For instance, I've read so many false accounts of the story behind the ball brawl that if I wasn't there I'd think there had to be some truth to them.

All of them have one constant, me being the agitator. Although everyone in our group of friends knows the truth, the rest of the world doesn't. However, the sad truth is, they don't want the real story, a lie is ten times easier. Because the truth is buried within our group, the media can bend things however they want and paint me in the most convenient light to sell magazines and gain clicks. The angry black woman narrative always sells, especially when contrasted with 'defenseless' white people; I never had a chance. America's media is truly something else.

"Sweetheart, you've been reading that rubbish for an hour. I thought we were supposed to be relaxing," Harry scolds, grabbing my laptop from my lap to sit it on the coffee table.

I don't respond, instead I fold my arms over my chest- annoyed he interrupted my destructive behavior.

"Cheer up would you," he grins, unveiling his dimples, as he pokes my side, "Hannah will be here any minute with her troop of prodders to get us ready. I just want to enjoy this time with you."