Never Had ~ A Louis Tomlinson Love Story

Chapter 27: Loosing It

"Emma, which one do you like better? The blue, or the white?" Marlee held up two dresses and I sighed, pointing to the blue one, which only made her want to wear the white one even more. Seriously, why does she even ask for my opinion? We've been going through both of her large suitcases for the last half hour and everything I've picked out she's turned down. And yet, I still sit on my bed, waiting for her to finish.

"I think you're right actually. The blue will look better with the ring, too." she sets the white one back in the suitcase and holds the blue one up against her. "So you are announcing it tonight?" I asked, slightly smiling. She nodded and glanced down at her left hand, admiring the large rock. "Yeah. It should all go well, at least, that's what Niall has been saying. I trust him so hopefully he's right." I nod.

Things always seem to go well for Marlee and Niall. They have the perfect life. Even when they we're fighting, they still managed to look cute. They never had to worry about saying "I Love You" too soon because they both felt the same from the very beginning. They had nothing to be afraid of and could be completely honest and open with each other. That was what I was jealous of. I know I want that with Louis. Hell, he might even know by now. But for some reason, I can't. And it seriously makes my brain want to explode out of frustration with my dumb heart.

"Are you ever going to change? We have to leave in like, ten minutes." I looked up and saw that Marlee was already in her blue dress, which did in fact, look great on her. Ha, guess I got one right. "I'm going, I'm going." I walked around her and into the bathroom. When I came out in the dumb dress Marlee helped me find yesterday after Louis had to ditch me for the meeting, she smiled at me. "God I'm amazing, you look amazing. How do I do it? No wonder I got the job for this tour."

"Thanks?" It came out as a question based on my confusion of her complementing herself rather than me. Okay, wow, that sounded conceited. "Yes, Ms. Marilyn, you're welcome. Now, let's get out of here." she yelled as she ran off towards the door. I looked down at my short white and realized that in fact it would remind some of Marilyn Monroe. Of course, to me, it was just another uncomfortable dress that was part of the 'dating a celebrity' package.

Marlee skipped over while I slowly managed to hobble along in these ridiculous heels over to Louis' place where everyone was to meet before we left. The door was unlocked so we just walked in, to find three of the five boys hanging out on the couch at the center of the room. "And Zayn and Harry are officially late!" Liam laughed, pretending to check his invisible watch. "Or we're just early." Marlee suggested, taking a seat very close to Niall, pretty much in his lap. "Not possible. They're late." Louis said and Niall began to crack up, as he usually did when Louis said anything even close to being somewhat funny. Niall just found him hilarious, which didn't help Louis' view of himself at all. The last thing we needed was a cocky Louis tonight, or any night for that matter.

Minutes later, Zayn and Harry causally strolled in, claiming the elevator had broken (which was the worst lie I've ever heard that wasn't my own). Instead of fighting about it for twenty minutes, we knew we were already running late and decided we'd better leave before people at the premiere began to notice. In the elevator, which by the way was working perfectly fine, I felt something brush my fingers and I looked down to see Louis hand cautiously slipping into mine. Looking up toward him, he gave me a slight smile and leaned in a little closer to me. "Excited?" he asked quietly. I nodded slowly, looking down at the granite floor of the elevator, finding our reflection.

I spaced out for a few moments, trying to figure out if I liked the reflection or not. I have never been one to 'hate myself' but that didn't make me vain. I'm not the prettiest, but I'm not ugly either; no one is. But this reflection wasn't me. It was strangely unfamiliar to my eye: I'm in a dress, with perfectly done hair, wearing heels, and holding hands with my best friend that is now my boyfriend. If you had told me I would have seen this four months ago, I wouldn't have believed you. Hell, I wouldn't have believed Jesus if he said anything like that to me. I barely even believe the sight below me that is reflected on the floor. Looking at it, it almost gives me an uncomfortable feeling; something is off today.