Never Had ~ A Louis Tomlinson Love Story

Chapter 37: Half a Heart

(Louis' POV)

I sang the harmonies of Through the Dark with Niall as we performed on another British morning talk show, our third of the month. Luckily we've been changing up the songs so it isn't the same thing every time. But sadly, this song only brought back the harsh memories of everything that happened over Christmas with Emma.

I mean, the song is about a girl who's had a lot of problems in the past and the guy is willing to give her everything to make her smile and laugh again, sound familiar? Of course it does; plus I wrote it so that definitely helps. It's pretty much a perfect picture except for the fact that this guy probably gets the girl and I just so happened to loose her for whoever knows how long.

It's been over a month and I've had absolutely no contact with her. Not even a text or a message sent through Marlee. I've obviously healed and am out of the hospital; that's about as good as it gets right now. I have no idea where she is or what she is doing; she could be dead for all I know, but I'm definitely not going to think about that, as it will only ruin my day.

Even with all the worrying and guilt I've been bothered with, I still manage to smile when I'm around the boys or the fans, just because it's a big part of my life, like Emma, and she always supported me in this; the least I could do is look like I was enjoying it for her. Not enough to look like I had forgotten about her, but enough to show her that I was okay and that I understood. Frankly Marlee and I are still both in shock that it's lasted this long. I even think Marlee made a bet with Niall that Emma would be back within a week; way to amp up his ego. But at least they're still happily engaged, shining some hope on my shit of a love life.

They've all been really nice about it too; the boys, I mean. They use their free time to hang out with me and often times Niall asks me for help with the wedding planning. Maybe they feel bad or maybe they've all just fallen in love with me, but either way, as creepy as it may be, it helps.

The song came to a close and the studio audience along with the two hosts clapped for us. We had already finished up the interview; thank God no questions were asked about my love life. People asked about it a lot right after she had left, like they had noticed her missing presence, but I neither denied nor confirmed those rumors as even I am not sure. As I continued to do that, fewer people started asking and now it seems like people have finally stopped worrying. I'm glad that some decent people can accept my privacy.

As we walked off stage, I felt someone tap my shoulder and I looked over to see a girl who looked to be about my age with curly auburn hair and freckles. She smiled at me and I smiled back; she also had a headset on and a clipboard in her hand so I knew she worked at the studio.

"Hi, Louis. I was just wondering if I could get your autograph?" she asked me and gently handed me the clipboard and pen she was holding as I nodded my head. I quickly signed my name and she thanked me kindly. "Also, are you and Emma still together?" Of course she asked that. Every fan asks that. This is why I go straight home from interviews.

"Hey Lou! Come on, we're getting lunch and then we've got that train to catch!" Niall pulled me away from the girl and I apologized to her as Niall rushed me away, even though I was honestly quite glad to escape from that sticky situation. "Thanks mate." I said once we were out of her line of vision. "No problem. I just overheard her and figured you were done with her anyway. Plus we're all a bit hungry. You're coming right?" he asked and I nodded as we went back to the dressing room to change into more casual and frankly warmer clothes.

Lunch was short and casual like always. Small talk between one another about personal stuff but all around random conversations flowed across the table. We discussed more about the wedding and what we were all planning on doing for our three-week break. Of course at the end of that break we'd all be getting together for Marlee and Niall's wedding, but for now everyone seemed to have the same destination: home. I hadn't been home in a while and was in pretty desperate need of my mum at this point. In all honesty I couldn't wait to get on that train, leaving behind my friends but going back to my family and everything before One Direction. Of course that would only make me miss Emma more, but I would have to put up with that, I guess.