Blanca Like Snow

Chapter 42 - Goodbyes

      Explaining things to the kids isn't easy, the words fail me and I dread the moment. It's not only because of how difficult it is but how wary I am of leaving them. My coward part wants to stay here forever, ignoring the herculean task ahead. But I'm well aware that's no an option and I have to say my goodbyes.

The day before we leave, I gather all the kids, Clarisse watching us from a corner, with a sympathetic and heartbroken expression. Nora is by my left and Will by my right side. I hold Nora's hand, drawing some strength from her and taking deep breaths.

"What's wrong?" Asks Cata, she looks worried and uneasy, she can't stop fidgeting and it makes me wonder if she has a feeling of what's yet to come.

"My name is Blanca Escobar," I begin. My sweet innocent kids never questioned my supposed 'amnesia,' they just accepted me and loved me unconditionally. "My home is in London. I remember all, and I... I..." My voice wavers as I reach that point where I have to tell them I'm leaving.

"Are you leaving us?" Cata asks again, her eyes already a bit teary and the sight breaks my heart.

"Hmm," I mumble because that's the best I can do to reply without showing how reluctant I am to leave.

"But you're coming back, right?" Danny questions next, holding Liam's hand tightly. "You're not leaving forever."

"I'll come visit, when I can," I whisper the last part because I don't know when that is going to happen. "Like Will does."

"When are you leaving?" Graham questions next, his expression is composed although he doesn't look exactly unaffected. Of course I grew closer to the kids, but I also got attached to the teens, helping them with their homework and preparing for the exams.

I can't answer, instead I squeeze Nora's hand and give her one pleading look. She replies with a faint nod before she clears her throat.

"Tomorrow. We have something very important to take care of," Nora explains, her voice firm and even, completely opposite to mine. "There's a job Blanca needs to do now that she remembers."

"You won't forget about us, right?" Cata asks and when I look at her I can see her eyes are red and tears are about to fall. I want to run to her and hold her tight, take her with me. But I can't. And that hurts so much.

"Of course not!" I exclaim, but my voice quakes quite boy going through puberty. "I'll never forget any of you and as soon as I can I'll come visit you. And when you grow up you can visit me. I have a big house and we can play there."

"Blanca loves you all," Clarisse talks then, calling for everyone's attention. "So much she's made sure all of you can go to university if that's what you want. She's left a present for every single one of you to help you follow your dreams."

I couldn't just leave this kids so I made sure to talk to Louise to create a fund for each kid so they can continue their education. Right now only the teens understand what this present means and they look so surprised, their eyes wide open. The kids still don't fully grasp the meaning behind this fund, but one day they will and I hope they'll be happy about it.

"Why can't Blanca live with us?" Sammy asks after Cata explains to her what's actually happening. "I want us to stay together."

My heart twists and I want to cry because I want to stay with them, they've become like a family to me and parting ways feels too painful.

"I have a home..." I try to explain but it sounds too weak.

"Your parents must miss you..." Sam comments, taking deep breaths.