Blanca Like Snow

Chapter 45 - My Fight

       The mere pressure of what is going on, the fear of how things will change and the consequences I'll have to face are enough to drain me and leave me feeling like I ran a fifty kilometres marathon. But it's good to make it home, and yes, by home I mean Nora's house, with Nora's family. Even if I kick Laura out of my house right now, that place wouldn't feel like home. There's no one there for me, only memories of good times, but the warmth and love is gone.

I have no desire to go there any time soon.

At Nora's place, aside from my best friend, there's her father and mother who are like second parents for me. And if that wasn't enough, there's also Will. I didn't think I'd miss him or need him so much until I see him again, rushing to meet us at the door where we are taking off our shoes. His eyes are wide, his expression contorted with worry but something settles when we meet eyes. I, however, feel like I deflate and I practically stumble towards him.

Will catches me before I trip or anything, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me close immediately. I let him hold me because I'm just so tired. Will is warm, Will is comfortable and I feel at ease in his arms, I feel protected and like I can let my guard down.

Being strong is not something you do twenty-four-seven, sometimes we need to be weak and vulnerable, sometimes we need someone to hold us and shield us, even if it's to just take a break. I am not invincible, I get tired and I'm scared and even though I know I can do all this alone, I'm still so glad Will is here and he's holding me.

The way Nora holds me and the way Will does are totally different. Whereas my best friend grounds me and gives me strength to carry on, Will is a place I come to take a break. I can let my guard down and allow myself to be at my weakest because they are shielding me. I feel like when I have them both, I have it all and I feel capable to do anything.

"Welcome," Will whispers in my ear and I sigh, content.

Nora and Louise walk past us, I feel the older woman's hand on my shoulder giving an encouraging squeeze before their footsteps become softer, getting away. In the meantime, I continue hugging Will.

"How are you doing?" he asks me at the same time his hands rub my back soothingly and I nuzzle a bit closer.

"I'm okay, just tired," I answer. "In my head I feel like I haven't done anything to actually be so physically exhausted, but at the same time I feel like I haven't stopped for days," I explain and feel how his arms tighten around me a bit more.

"You've done a lot," Will reassures me. "It's normal to be tired. The pressure is more exhausting than anyone might think."

That said, he pulls back just enough so we can meet each other's eyes. Now I can see the smile he is giving me, encouraging and soothing; it's a smile that tells me it's all right and I don't need to be strong right now. I know it already, but now I'm sure of it.

With one arm around my waist, he raises his other hand to cup my face, his thumb running across my cheekbone before it slides to my side, wrapping at the back of my neck, his thumb pressing behind my ear.

"You did well." Will continues smiling. "I watched your conference and you did really well."

"I feel like I could've done better, though," I confess and he shakes his head softly.

"It was good enough, don't beat yourself up about something that can't be changed. You exposed the truth and planted the seed. It's already giving good results, so don't worry."

"I can't not worry," I refute and he presses his lips together.

"You're right. I mean don't worry about what's done already. You have more than enough to worry about the future." I can't argue that, so I only nod my head and Will smiles a bit wider. "You know, it was actually hard to persuade my friends to help?" That doesn't come as a surprise to me, I actually am shocked he managed to persuade his connections to help spreading the word. "It reminded me of myself when I met you. I was so narrow minded and convinced I knew you already and there was nothing good about you. I was such a hypocrite, wasn't I?"