Sugarcane Chronicles Volume I: One and Lonely (ryden)

Pardon Me, But There is a Butt in My Face and I Believe it is Yours

About half way to Yogurt Land, I decided to challenge Ryan to a race.

"Hey, Ryan," I said.

"What?" he said.

"Race you there!" I yelled, taking off in a run.

"Wait up!" I heard him shout after me. I just laughed and tried to run faster. Right when I thought that he had given up trying to race me, I saw him run past me at the speed of light.

"No fair! You're a cat!" I yelled after him, trying to speed up my running. He laughed and ran faster, if that was even possible.

He, of course, beat me to Yogurt Land. As we caught our breath, I wondered aloud where Spencer and Patrick were.

"Did... We leave... Patrick.. and Spe... Spencer... behind?" I barely managed to get out.

"I don't know. Let's just get some frozen yogurt," he said, breathing fine. He looked like he didn't even run!

"How... How are... How... Uuoohhh I'm gonna vomit," I breathed, still trying to catch my breath. "Ok. I'm good. I'm good. Let's go get some yogurt." I stood up straight.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"I'm gonna vomit," I said, bending over and placing my hands on my knees.

"Let's just get you inside," he said, leading me inside.

"THANK GOD FOR CHAIRS!" I yelled, enthusiastically sitting down at a table near the window. Ryan sat across from me, smiling.

"What are you so happy about? I almost died," I said, placing my hand over my heart.

"Nothing," he said. "So what kind of yogurt do you want?"

"I don't care. Just get a large one of what you're getting and an extra spoon," I said, waving my hand nonchalantly. He chuckled and stood up, heading towards the yogurt dispensers. Right as he was paying, Patrick and Spencer walked in.

"...I just don't understand why Squidward is so angry all the time," Patrick said, holding the door for Spencer.

"Trust me, if you were in Squidward's shoes, you would understand how he felt, Patrick," Spencer said, walking in.

"I still don't—Oh hey, guys," Patrick said, letting the door close.

"Hi," I said as Ryan sat down across from me.

"Hey guys," he said, handing me a pink spoon.

"Why do I have the pink spoon!?" I questioned, knowing that there were green spoons, too.

"Because I like green," he smirked.

"You're lucky you're cute," I pointed my pink spoon at him. "So what flavor did you get?"

"Chocolate Milkshake," he said, eating some. We were invested in our own little 'conversation' that I didn't even notice that Spencer and Patrick went to get their yogurt and came back until Spencer's arm was across my face.

"Dude, what are you doing?" I said, trying to swat his arm away.

"Trying to get to the chair next to you," he said, scooting behind me. It was a tight fit between the chairs and the window, so Spencer's butt was right in my face.

"Pardon me, but there is a butt in my face, and I believe it is yours," I said, trying to push his butt out of my face.

"You know you like it," he chuckled, finally getting past me. Before he sat down, I smacked his butt jokingly.