Giant Glob of Toothpaste

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After school ended, I dropped by backpack off at home and walked to the Ross-Smith-Stump house. There was a car parked outside of the woods where the pathway started. I figured it must’ve been other people with the curse like Ryan talked about earlier.

I walked down the pathway, and as I neared the house, I could hear loud laughter and talking. I walked up to the house and knocked on the door. There was no answer and then I heard noise from behind the house. I stepped off the porch and walked behind, finding a second house that I suddenly remembered existed. I walked up to the front door and knocked loudly. Some of the noise quieted down and the door opened to Jon.

“Hey, Brendon!” he exclaimed, beer in one hand. “Come on in, buddy!” He put his arm around me and pulled me inside.

“Uhm, where’s Ryan?” I asked, scanning around the living room, which Jon had led me to.

“He’s right in the uhm....” he looked over at the coffee table where Pete was standing, swaying his hips and singing Justin Timberlake’s ‘SexyBack.’ “Pete, where’s Ryan!”

Pete just continued to sway and sing, spilling his beer everywhere. “Who cares where Ryan is!? I’m bringin’ sexy back!”

“Yes you are!” Jon exclaimed, joining Pete on the table. I looked around for Ryan, but instead found Doctor Hurley and Joe.

“They’re gonna break that table,” Joe said, sipping from his bottle of beer. Doctor Hurley nodded in agreement, sipping his bottle of water.

I decided to start conversation with them to see if they knew where Ryan was. “Hey, Doctor Hurley, Joe!” I greeted them.

“Please, call me Andy,” Doctor Hurley said.

“Alright,” I said as Jon and Pete switched their soundtrack to ‘Mirror’ and mirrored each other while they sang. “Hey, do you guys happen to know where Ryan is?”

“Yeah, he’s in the kitchen with Patrick and our boys,” Joe said, vaguely gesturing to a door on the other side of the dining room with his beer.

“What about Spencer?” I asked.

“He’s sitting right over there,” Andy pointed to Spencer who was sitting in a chair in the living room, watching Jon intently.

“Does he have a thing for Jon?” I asked, looking back at Joe and Andy.

“We all think so,” Joe said, sipping his beer.

“And I heard you say ‘your boys’? You guys have kids?” I asked.

“It’s like the same situation that Jon and Pete have,” Andy said. “Joe actually found them just a few weeks ago, and enrolled them in your school. They started yesterday.”

“Really? I’ll look for them tomorrow,” I said. “Well I gotta go talk to Ryan now.” I waved a small goodbye and walked into the kitchen. Ryan was in the middle of telling an apparently funny story.

“...A giant glob of toothpaste!” Ryan said, and they all laughed.

“What about toothpaste?” I asked. Everyone looked at me.

“I’ll tell you later,” Ryan said, walking up to me, smiling. “Hi, Brendon.”

“Hi, Ryan,” I smiled back, pecking his lips. I remembered that there were other people, so I backed up a little.

“Hello all. My name is Brendon,” I said, turning to everyone and spreading my arms out. “I’m totally straight.” Everyone kind of laughed and one of the two other boys, whom I didn’t’ know, came over to me.

The other one was sitting on the counter, so he just turned and waved at me. “Hi. I’m Tyler.” His voice was sad and he sounded like he was about to cry. He also had a pouty lip, so that didn’t help.

“Oh, are you alright?” I asked, walking over to him. “You sound like you’re about to cry.”

“I’m fine. It’s just my voice,” he said, jumping down from the counter and stuck his hand out. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“I’m Brendon,” I shook his hand. “It’s very nice to meet you, Tyler.”

He smiled and sat back up on the counter. I turned around to meet a boy with a beard, faux-hawk and a snapback.

“Hi, I’m Josh,” he said, sticking his hand out. I shook his hand and smiled.

“It’s nice to meet you, Josh. I’m Brendon,” I said.

“So I’m guessing that you and Ryan are dating?” Josh asked, walking back to his spot next to Tyler.

“Uh...” I glanced at Ryan. “Kind of, I guess.” I looked back at Josh. “Why? Are you guys dating?” I asked, gesturing to them.

They looked at each other and stepped (or in Tyler’s case, scooted) away from each other.

“No,” Tyler said, making a face. “We’re just friends. Best friends, actually, but I don’t like him in that way.”

“Yeah, that’d be kind of gross,” Josh said. He stepped back over to Tyler and put his arm around him. “But I love him anyway.”

“And I love him,” Tyler said, putting his arm around Josh. He took off Josh’s snapback and kissed the top his head, then put the snapback back.

“So, how long have you guys known each other?” I asked.

“Well, we’ve been best friends since--” Josh was interrupted by Joe yelling something.

“Andy, stop eavesdropping on the kids!” Joe yelled.

“I’m not eavesdropping,” Andy replied. “I’m just waiting for the right moment to walk in!” He paused. “And they’ve probably already heard us, so...” Andy walked into the kitchen. “Hey guys, sorry about the yelling, I just wanted you guys to come into the living room to do the drawing of the names for the secret Santa.”

“Alright,” I said. We all walked into the living room. Jon and Pete were passed out on the couch and Pete’s shirt was off.

“Okay, guys,” Andy said. “All you need to do is write down your name on a piece of paper and fold the paper up and put it in the bowl.”

We all did as we were told as Joe said, “I already put Jon and Pete’s names in the bowl and Spence and I have already done it, too.”

Once the rest of us had put our names in the bowl, Andy mixed them up and we each drew one, except for Pete and Jon. Andy picked two pieces of paper and put them in their pockets.

I looked at the piece of paper in my hand. It read Jon in what I presumed was Joe’s handwriting with a little drawing of Jon next to it. I wondered who got me.

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just gonna take a moment and say that the "giant glob of toothpaste" part in the story is based off of a real life expierience

Picture to the right is Josh and Tyler

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