Harry Styles BSM

45. Dance With My Father / DDM

PART TWO

Your P.O.V

"This is the day, Y/N" my mother nervously said. I was a bit confused. I'm not sure on what's she's trying to say, I don't completely understand. Will dad arrive? Is he coming back? Is he going to explain where he's at from all these years? But why is there a cd? Is it still a video greeting? I don't know, there are loads of questions running in my head right now.

"Will you please put it on the projector mom? I want everyone to see this, I want everyone to see how I will be whole again, on this day."

If I were to ask, of course I was scared. I was scared to get hurt again, I was scared to be humiliated. What if he's going to say that he's living on the other side of the world having his own family, or he never loved us, or he never wanted me to be his daughter? But in the other side of that negative thoughts, I'm eager to be whole again.

On this point, I was ready for everything. Early this morning I was livid, before I enter the church I was just sad and when Mom was walking me down the aisle I was anxious but now I'm ready to let go.

She went to the operator and gave the cd. The MC who was already given instructions to be aware for any video presentations, told everyone that there is something that was about to be played.

Everyone faced the projector and there goes my Daddy.

"Hello my lovely daughter, it's been awhile" he smiled. I was a bit apprehensive at that time. I feel like instead of being whole again, I was being crushed.

"Congratulations for you and the person you love for your wedding day. I'm really sorry for not being able to come"

Sorry for not being able to come. That line, that particular line is always the thing that I heard from him so they can't blame me for being mad. But I just shrugged and kept on listening.

"I really want to come, God knows what my heart wants. But I am not destined to see this important part of your life." I felt pangs of sadness engulfing my heart. I don't know but I feel like crying when I see my dad controlling himself not to cry.

"I remember when you were just a kid, you're so naughty. You always wanted to be carried. And I can't say no to you because, you almost never knew me when you're mad and then I would just say 'Don't be mad my little princess' " as he speak, our memories together came flashing back at me. Like everything came back instantly so I couldn't control myself, I can't help not to cry. Hayes was quick, he almost instantly wiped the tears in my eyes

"You always told me you love Daddy"
Dad continued

"And I would always reply that you and your mom will always and forever be the girls of my life."

"Y/N, princess always remember that Daddy loves you very much, and that no boundaries will change that. And to your groom, please always take care of my princess. Make her the happiest woman that would ever exist. Be the man that I could never be. Stay with her and be her angel 'till time permits you to be."

"Everyone, please guide my daughter. Make her feel that someone will always be there for her. And to my wife, thank you for letting me have this opportunity to tell our daughter one little secret."

My heart almost skipped a beat. Yeah, I've still didn't heard the words Daddy will say but I can feel my heart breaking

"When you were 6 Y/N, I was diagnosed with lupus" as he said that, my heart was smashed, trampled and shredded into pieces. It hurts to think that all these years, I kept on hating someone who loved me till his last breath.

"The doctor said that there will be no cure, that my life will end any day that time. Though I didn't focus or listened to his explanation, the only thing that's in my mind is you and your mom"

"I don't believe or I can't believe that every plan I have for you and your mom will put into waste. I want to see you grow up. I want to see you on stage, I want to see you as a teen, to have a boyfriend even though I hate it. I want to be the first person you come into when you're crying, when those douche hurts you. I want to take you to different countries, I want that me and your mom will be your guardian angels and I will be your super hero"

"But everything was stolen from me by lupus"

I can't contain my tears anymore. My sobs turn into silent wails. My tears turned into rivers and I couldn't visualize the video anymore. Thank God my ears are still working properly because I now understand the message of the man I've hated these years without even knowing what has happened to him.

"That's why I told Mommy that before I leave this world, we'll go somewhere. I shot those videos somewhere without telling you. And that videos were the once you received these past few years since you turned nine. I know that I will be gone anytime soon, that's why I made something that even though it's just a simple video, I can still be part of your life"

"Maybe your mad because I know that you don't understand before, but I really don't want you to be hurt knowing that I had suffered without telling you. But I really am sorry, I think that was for the best. I know on your wedding day, you grew up to be the finest lady any man could love and you, her husband, you're lucky, very lucky."

I hugged Hayes. It's not enough to just cry the pain out of every sadness and regret I feel. I wanted to pause the video just to cry and continue when I'm ready. But I didn't, looks like Daddy has a lot more to say.

"May this video heal your wounds princess? I want to let you go, for you to be able to fly freely. Daddy is so proud of where you are right now. And even though I'm not here anymore by the time you see this video, I just want to tell you that I will always be here to guide you... from a distance"

"And one last request princess, can I dance with you?"

I quickly stood up and ran to the wall where the video was projected, ignoring everyone on the vicinity. I touched it, felt it as if Daddy is just there. I just want to sob, but I also want to be with him.

"Please.." I heard him say as if he's seeing me hesitating

I nodded, and like he saw me, he smiled. He has the sweetest smile anyone could have, and my heart melted in happiness. I saw him having trouble in standing up in the video, I also went to the center of the floor and pretended he was there. I lifted my arms, closed my eyes and the music played.

My heart wants to leap out of my chest when the song played everywhere. There and then, I knew I have been whole... again.

*Back when I was a child, before life removed all innocence. My father would lift me high, and dance with my mother and me and then. Spin me around 'til I fell asleep. Then up the stairs he would carry me, and I knew for sure, I was loved.*

Everything felt magical, like I was really dancing with my dad. He's holding my other hand, while his hand is placed on my waist. He's smiling. I'm smiling. And nothing felt as great as this.

I slightly opened my eyes to take a peek of what was happening to the crowd as I dance alone. I saw that almost everyone have tears in their own eyes. And the happy atmosphere before have now became silent.

I then again closed my eyes and I saw him.

"Princess, this might be the last chance I could dance with you, but please always remember, inside your heart. Daddy will always live forever."

"Yes Daddy" I whispered."