Mr.Styles (Harry Styles)

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

The nightmares have gotten worse.

I have no idea who this person is and I am no closer to finding out, I feel like I am going in fucking circles! Maybe I could pretend that it doesn't bother me, but it does- I can't just wait around for another package filled with dead animals or bones, I can't wait around for A to just decide that she is going to tell the world about Mr. Styles' and I's extra-curricular activities; I am not going to fuck up Miss McKenzie's and Harry's life like that- this is my mess, not theirs.

I am going insane, I am actually going crazy; I'm not sleeping and my will power is getting weaker and weaker. No one is asking questions- they just assume it's because exams are coming up soon and college applications are stressing me out when in all honesty I applied to college before Christmas and I am going to fix this bullshit before the exams start; the last thing I need is to fail and screw everything up even more.

Thinking, waiting, sitting on the rough black tiles of my roof I looked out towards the setting sun, gazing at the colours fading into one another. Blues, reds, oranges and yellows dancing together in the swirling clouds- meshing and connecting with one another creating a perfect masterpiece. It is still winter time so it was quite early. The cold seasonal breeze creating goose bumps on my arms, electrifying the skin making the hairs stand tall like buildings in the city. I was wearing shorts, no socks and a jumper- I didn't care much for the chill; I don't feel much at the moment- the tiredness has dulled me because I am currently rolling through each day like a wave on the shore- not strong enough to cling onto the sand and then I get pulled back out again- then slammed back onto the land a constant cycle that's slowly eroding away at me.

A couple of weeks ago, when I visited that storage unit, I came back home and climbed up onto the roof so I could see the town where I have grown up. I realised I liked it up here and that I could really think, the view wasn't too bad either. As soon as I reached the tiles that shelter me at night it's like all the noise, all the static from the ground below fades away. The blurry images and lines suddenly become clearer and crooked morals straighten up like soldiers. I don't regret breaking into the storage facility but it is a crime (breaking and entering) I also took pictures of files which is another crime I can't be bothered to look up because all it will do is play on my mind like the annoying jingles in adverts, continuously droning on like a broken record player.

I can see why Spencer went insane, I have only dealt with this shit for a couple of months and she dealt with it for years. Years! If I am already losing my mind, then what am I going to be like when I reach Spencer's time? I guess it's because in reality we don't think it will happen to us, that the walls that make this universe will protect us from ideas such as radioactive stalkers who are intent on making your life a misery, parents who fight and teachers so breathtakingly amazing it hurts to be around them and to be near them. Stuff like this is in the films and books, not in our reality. But it is. It is happening every single day out there- we just don't see it and therefore it goes unnoticed.

I told you being on the roof helps me think.

"Don't think too hard." I was startled by a gruff voice behind me. I turned around and saw Dakota pushing himself up onto the tile.

"If that's even possible." I retorted going back to staring at the sunset.

"Your mom told me you were up here." He said sitting next to me and throwing his feet over the edge since he was so damn tall.

"God, nothing gets past her." I muttered.

"Is this your new hiding place?" He asked.

"Did I have an old one?" I pondered.