pacify her ; joshler

Skirts

"i barely know anything about your past, josh. we've known each other for almost 3 months, dating for 1 of those." tyler says, playing with joshs fingers, his head in joshs lap.

"what do you want to know?" josh asks, his free hand running through tylers hair.

"your childhood. what was it like?" tyler asks, looking up at josh.

josh smiles, nostalgic memories flowing back to his thoughts. "well i was born june 18, 1988 here in columbus. my mom loved me a lot and when i came out to her in junior year, she was surprisingly comfortable with it. my dad took a while to realize it though."

"when did he realize you were serious?"

"when he walked in on me and my boyfriend at the time, with me on my knees. boy, he never let me live that down." josh chuckles and tyler joins in.

"h-he walked in on you sucking his dick?" tyler spits out between giggles.

josh looks down at tyler a small smile on his face, as the dimple josh always loved to see was prominent on tylers cheek. "yeah. one time i was getting something out of the lower cabinet and when he walked in the kitchen he asked me if there was a boy under the sink."

tyler giggles. "what about high school? what was it like for you?"

"i'd be lying if i said it was all sunshine and rainbows. but it wasn't horrible. i had friends that stuck with me even after coming out, others that didn't." he smiles, "my life, sadly, wasn't an 80's movie."

"mine was." tyler says, voice going sad.

"what happened, kitten?" josh asks, using his favorite pet name for tyler, still running his fingers through tylers hair.

"i had 1 friend throughout highschool - everyone else called me 'faggot' and avoided me; scared i was going to rub gay on them. my father forced me to do basketball and i hated it. i came out to my parents in senior year and they made me pack up my shit and leave. happily ever after, am i right?" tyler says, his voice cracking slightly.

"oh, baby." josh leans down to press a kiss to tylers forehead, then his nose and finally a quick peck on his lips. "fuck 'em."

"but they're my parents, josh. how could they go through 17 years of feeding me and loving me to suddenly hating my guts." a few tears escape tylers eyes and josh wipes them away with his thumb. "it's not like my life got any better after they kicked me out."

"tell me everything, kitten."

"i fell in love after highschool. his name-" tylers voice cracks at the thought of his name. "his name was grant. he found me broken, and used it to his advantage. i loved him for 2 whole years and he said he loved me, too."

"did he not love you?" josh questions, grabbing tylers smaller hand in his own, squeezing lightly.

tyler smiles sadly, "no. well i'm pretty sure he didn't."

"he didn't.. do anything to you? did he?" joshs voice going hard at the thought of his love getting hurt.

a loud sob leaves tyler as he nods.

"he did. he would push me around, kick me, slap me. kick me to the ground like i was a ragdoll." tyler explains, tears rapidly leaving his eyes and running down his cheeks onto joshs pants.

"thats why i can't take compliments from you 'cause i truly don't believe them. he called me worthless and every horrible name known. grant brought my self esteem to rock bottom and i had already thought it was at rock bottom before i even met him."

josh brings tyler to sit straight and holds his face in his hands, leaning his forehead against tylers.

"you're perfect and beautiful and amazing. tyler, you are far from worthless. you're the sunshine in my life and i couldn't imagine you not being here with me." josh kisses tyler "don't ever think you're anything less than that."