pacify her ; joshler

Funeral

"can we stay here tonight, kelly? i live on the other side of town." josh asks tylers mom after the wake and after the casket is brought out of the house and over to the church.

"sure, stay up in tylers room." she answers, smiling.

josh nods in thanks and tyler practically drags josh upstairs.

they enter the small bedroom and tyler shuts the door behind him.

"this was your room? it seems plain compared to you." josh points out as his eyes roam around the empty yellow colored walls.

tyler removes his jacket and throws it on the chair in front of the desk.

"my dad was a jesus freak and didn't let me put posters up of bands that he determined 'blasphemous'." tyler explains, sitting down next to josh.

tyler glances outside at the night sky.

"one thing i did love was the window right here." he says, laying down on his side, looking out at the stars. "i'd always open the window and breathe in the fresh air and stare up into the sky."

tyler moves his hand to unlatch the window and pushes it open.

josh smiles at his boyfriend as he reminisces on the past and lays down behind him, wrapping his right arm around his waist.

tyler snuggles into the warmth. they were both still in their suits, but josh had taken off his jacket and rolled up the sleeves on them.

tyler smiles at joshs tattoo sleeve as joshs hand rests on his lower stomach.

"you never told me what your tattoo stands for."

"and i could say the same for your black rings and boxes." josh answers.

"touché, dun." tyler giggles, and his right hand finds its way to trace the individual swirls on josh's arm.

"your tattoo reminds me of happiness. the morning was when i felt happy - waking up to all the bright oranges and pinks in the sky, knowing that in that moment, everything was okay." tyler explains, a small smile on his face;

"being around you - everything is okay."

josh smiles widely, "turn over and face me." josh instructs and tyler does just that, his face illuminated by the moonlight, eyes bright and skin tan.

"i love you, tyler." josh says for the millionth time it seemed like, linking theirs hands together.

"i love you, too josh." tyler returns and pecks him on the lips before turning onto his back.

"i remember i would stay up till all hours of the night, staring up at this plain ceiling, wanting desperately to be taken by sleep." tyler perks up. "wait."

tyler crawls over josh and josh laughs, giving tyler a confused look as he rummages through his drawers.

"here it is." tyler says, a small black journal in his hand. "i wrote a lot when i would stare blankly at the ceiling and i remember writing the lyrics to a song, but i never got around to getting chords." tyler explains once more as he climbs back into the bed, josh looking curiously at the journal.

"can i see?" josh asks, his neck craning to see in the moonlight.

tyler reaches back to turn on the light behind him.

"no, josh. i brought this journal out to throw it out the window. yes, i want you to read it. i could sing it for you if you wanted." tyler offers.

"i didn't even know you sang."

"i did. after everything that happened, i was discouraged and never really picked it back up. i was in choir at school," tyler laughs, "to my fathers dismay."