The Program

Chapter 18

Gray Fullbuster

My roommate is literally the most awkward person I have ever met in my entire life.

I've started to try talking to other people, to try and make new friends. But it seems like he'll be a tough one to get along with.

Gajeel. He looked rough, like he didn't have a care in the world. He's always on his phone, too. Maybe he's just anti-social.

Natsu chuckled, shoving his hands in his pockets. ''They already assigned the roommates. Apparently I'm rooming with some guy named Jello, and you're rooming with.. Gay-jeel?''

I stifled a laugh. ''Dumb ass, you obviously got the names wrong.''

My body tensed up from the sudden memory occurring in my head. Why now out of all times?

Everything reminds me of Natsu. I can't deny it, it's hard taking him out of my life when he's been in it for so long. I've considered him my best friend for as extensive as I remember.

I sound pathetic.

I rubbed my face roughly with my hands, staring straight at the wall from where I sat on my bed.

It's like this year is the year where everything starts to crash down. The good memories, the people that you thought would be in your life forever. But something happens, or something that's been happening for a while gets to you, and it pushes you to make a hard decision.

I've always been indecisive. Even while making the decision to no longer be friends with Natsu I had a difficult time making. I couldn't even fully let him go without the hope that he'll fix it. To be honest, I just want us to be friends again.

But it can't keep going on like this. Natsu needs to grow up. I need to grow up. Taking our friendship like this.. it's time to get serious. He's been like this for the duration I've known him. And if he doesn't make his move, then he'll lose what he didn't fight for.

Just like what I didn't do with Juvia.

I'm such a hypocrite.

Pushing myself off of the bed, I grabbed a jacket and slipped it on before heading out of the dorm.

It's hard, honestly.

Both the situation and just being me in general.

I preach about many things, such as what I did with Natsu, but I don't practice what I preach. I'm a huge hypocrite.

Maybe having all this happen to me is what I deserve.

Being bullied from a young age, having my dad cheat on my mom and get divorced, having to escape a house fire by myself, constantly involving myself into physical fights, all this trouble that I've received throughout my whole life; it's probably just karma biting me in the ass.

''Gray?'' A familiar voice called, pulling me out of my negative thoughts. I raised my gaze to see Natsu standing in front of me, his facial expression showing emotions I couldn't decipher.

''Gray.'' He repeated in a solid tone, fixing his posture as he stared at me.

''Natsu.'' I mumbled in return. 

''I...'' Natsu started, slowly lowering his eyes down to gaze at his feet. ''I'm sorry.'' 

Is that it?

''Okay.'' I answered, wanting to accept his apology but knew we were already at the point of no return. ''Well, I'll be going now.'' I informed awkwardly, beginning to walk away.