Not So Perfect

Chapter 15

ARIYA'S POV

I sat on the curb, outside the hotel bawling my eyes out. My head spun and nothing made sense. So many years back, Vicky didn't stop me when I left him and he never bothered contacting me again. Still, I never forgot him and now he suddenly shows up saying he never forgot me either. He loved me, he never stopped. I cried the pain of eight years, every moment I wished Vicky was next to me. During projects, during games, during performances, over vacation, during prom. How many cozy moments we would've shared, how many double dates we could've went on. How many times I would've told him that he meant every thing to me. Those nonexistent memories haunt me every day. I never found love. I never looked for it after he left because I knew I had lost it when I had turned my back on Vicky that day at the park.

My train of thoughts was disrupted by my phone. It was Aisha, checking in on us. "I'll be back soon." I mumbled through tears, trying to mask my current state. I failed.

"Ariya? Babe, are you crying?" Aisha's voice was filled with worry.

"Vicky, he said he never stopped loving me. That he never cared for anyone else. I...I feel so lost, Aisha. I never thought I would see him again, let alone any reignited feelings. Is this the emptiness I have been feeling? Is it him that was missing? I just...just....don't know." Emotions flooded out of me.

Aisha murmured something inchorent. "Babe, look. You have got to let the past go. What's happened has happened. That was long ago when we were all dumb and young (not that we're any smarter now). Point is, maybe Vicky was what you are missing or maybe his memory has left a permanent wound. Maybe that wound is why you never forgot him. Do you love him, Ariya?"

"I don't know," my small voice croaked.

"What even is love?" Aisha asked, exasperated. "Just because he said he loves you, doesn't mean you have to go back to him. Take things slow. Can you be friends? No, WILL you be friends with him?"

"I...I g-guess."

"Good. Get to know him better throughout the wedding. That'll be good for Meera and Ryan, too. They won't have to juggle between your "What happened to us?" war."

I laughed, "Ok."

"Now go make things right." She ordered.

"I love you, Aisha." I wouldn't get anywhere without her.

With a hint of tease she said, "Wrong person." My lack of reaction caused her to say, "The things I do for you guys." She sighed and cut the call after her cryptic words.

I wiped my tears and got up from the curb. I had come far in life, in every aspect but my supposed love life. I was still a confused sixteen year old, living off limited moments. As Aisha said, it was high time to move on. I knew it, I just failed to accept it. Vicky stood for all I never found, but just because he was in front of me, didn't mean that he was still all of that for me. Being friends with Vicky meant tackling the past and overcoming it, something I was ready to do.

Vicky was talking to the staff in the hall I ran out off. The red carpet had been rolled away and everyone hovered around Vicky, listening to his directions. His forehead creased and hands moved to explain everything as he spoke. My eyes met his and I gestured him over. He finished talking and walked over to me. His eyes flashed nervousness. Hands shoved in his jeans pockets, he anxiously waited for me to say something. I kept quiet because watching him freak out was actually quite entertaining.

"I'm sorry," I said after watching him fidget for a good two minutes.

He seemed surprised, "For what?"

"For running out on you like that."

"Oh"

"I just want to say that I may not repriocate your feelings, but you definetly aren't a stranger either. So, I'm willing to put whatever it is past us and be friends."