Not So Perfect

Chapter 17

ARIYA'S POV

That night a restlessness took over me. I'd tossed and turned for hours to no avail. Aisha and Meera peacefully frolicked in dreamland. I walked out to the second floor balcony for some fresh air. The lake was silent, it's organisms silently dancing under the moon. The trees surrounded it like a blanket, providing warmth and solace in its branches. The moon's clear reflection made me sigh. If only life was always this beautiful.

"Can't sleep?" Oh no, Vicky. I nodded and he took it as permission to join me. Great! After the stunt I had pulled today, I thought he would avoid me. I don't know what had come over me, I was impulsive. My blood boiled seeing Vicky having so much fun with Aisha.

"That was quite the risk that you pulled off earlier today. I'm impressed," he gave me a warm smile. So he wasn't going to avoid me. We sat on the railing. "It's such a beautiful sight."

"I know right. So calming. It's the most serene place I've seen in many years. Just want to take in the silence and memorize each part of its beauty."

"It's impossible. I mean something or the other is going to slip.  You can never have everything of something or someone."

They say beauty is in the beholder of the eye. The beauty depends only on how much the eye can hold. Sometimes all it takes is one look for them to be satisfied and sometimes many looks. Similarly, something could be right in front of them and they won't see it. The worst is when eyes look for the one thing that isn't there for them and when they realize that, they release tears. Eyes are a interesting tool we use to express our emotions. They look to retain beauty and find emptiness, instead. I wanted to retain the beauty of the lake to hopefully fill some of the emptiness yet that was impossible to do. When I looked into Vicky's eyes, surprisingly I found the same thing.

"What's holding you back? You are enjoying this scene just as I am, but you refuse to comsider capturing it to cherish later on. There's an obstacle that holds you grounded in the way you act. You are friendly with everyone, but still something in your mentality that forces you down."

Vicky's eyes opened wide. I had seen through him. "Did you ever forget the past?"

Although what happened between us wasn't extreme at all, it was nonetheless impactful. I thought we had a strong bond, an understanding. He protected me, but he hurt me more than anyone else ever could. It left a hidden scar that will never heal. People come into your life to first extol you then use and throw you out like a rag, as if you are nothing. I could never let anyone have my trust easily. "No, never."

"Why did that happen?" He was going down the road I avoided. He looked at me expectantly.

"I guess we were immature and in over our heads. We were sixteen, hardly knowing what it means to handle a relationship." I finally made my thoughts oral after keeping them inside for so many years. "I never stopped believing in love, but I stopped believing love was for me."

Vicky inched closer to me, "There is love for you, Ariya. Maybe you're just blind to it because of the walls you've put up." He was getting passed my defenses to see what was inside. He was succeeding which was making me melt.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Anyone ever ask me my side of the story?" It hit me at that moment that I never did find out. All I knew was that he left me with no goodbye. "I needed some time to think things out. Going to St.Peter's was big. I didn't want to leave you because you and I both knew that was going to lead to "trouble in paradise". When I realized you're upset over this, I came to talk to you to figure things out. The only reason I didn't talk to you before was that I had no idea what to say. I was hurt when you physically left, but mentally you never actually left."