How Did We Get Here // Luke Hemmings & Zayn Malik

Chapter 67: I Can't

Niall dragged his feet along the hotel halls, moving his body tiredly. Zayn carrying some luggage with burden. Natalie tired to keep her eyes open.

Natalie and Niall crashed the bed and fell asleep however the position they fell. Zayn and I were unpacking some stuff, trying to get tomorrow ready for when we wake up.

He yawns, sitting down on the floor and re-folded his clothes into the drawer. I softly pat his shoulder "Zayn, go sleep." He nods no "No, I need to help you." I sigh, smiling "I know, well just wake up earlier tomorrow, don't worry." He wipes his face and gets up from the floor. I walk to my bag and get out some clothes. He clicks his tongue "Aren't you going to sleep too?" I grin, whispering "Yeah, I'm just gonna take a shower." He smirks, walking over to me, kissing my stomach "goodnight munchkin."

I watch him crawl into bed, tugging the blankets and close his eyes. I sigh, getting my stuff and walking into the bathroom. I lock the door and turn on the shower.

I stand under the warm water and stare down at the floor. I begin to rub my belly and feel the anxiety attacks rising to the surface. My heart starts pounding; I could hear my breaths become rapid and feel the immense hole in my soul. We were here; we got here to meet the future parents of my baby.

As I softly and quietly started putting everyone's things away, I could feel the hole in my soul grow deeper. It felt like I was abandoning my child, leaving them to fend for themselves, feeling like a bad person. I love my child, that's why I'm doing this, giving them a better life than I could possibly give them right now. But somehow even though I knew the facts, I felt hopeless and useless.

I stare at the clock, watching the seconds tick every waking moment, driving me insane. Each tock became eternal. Suddenly the clock strung at 6. It was already morning. I didn't sleep!

Niall and Natalie both screamed "Ah!" Zayn rolled over looking at the clock "God it's 6." I sigh, getting up and taking Zayn's things out so he could ready.

Natalie groans "its so god damn COLD!" I roll my eyes and strap my boots on.

By 6:30 we were ready to head out. The couple lives about half an hour from where we're at. Zayn calls for our taxi and we wait by the lobby. Mean while thing one and thing two were messing around. Zayn rolls his eyes "It's too early to be Fucken around guys." Niall laughs "It's never too early to be sliding down halls Zayn! When do you get to do this?" Zayn just rolls his eyes and grips my hand. I smirk "Leave them, Niall has never seen such polish floor before." Zayn chuckles "Then he should come over my house." I grin "He'd go ballistic there."

Then the taxi outside started honking. We rush out and get in. Zayn went in the front while Natalie and Niall crushed me in the back.

The part of Russia we saw was beautiful. Mountains of snow over sidewalks and everything so calm.

Suddenly the Taxi rolls to stop in front of a big white house. I look at the address and we've arrived. Everyone looks at me and I swallow my pain and smile. We walk to the front step and knock. I sigh and move my hair around a bit until the door flew open.

She stood in shock. Her brown eyes full of amazement. Her chocolate brown hair swaying everywhere. Her pale face and rosy cheeks. Her body expression stood still. Then a big man peeked through the halls asking for her. Then his dark blue eyes pop at the sight of us. His long golden hair tied in the back. His thick Russian accent yells "Honey! Invite them in!" She breaks her concentration, smiling and welcoming us inside. We all huddle by the corner looking around the living room. She sighs, her accent isn't as heavy as his "I'm Klavdiya and this is my husband Yegor." I grin a bit "And I'm Emma. This is Zayn and this is my sister Natalie and my best friend Niall." They smile and offer us a seat.