宮殿 Gōngdiàn×The Palace

CHAPTER 44

My eyes scanned the room until they landed on a face that exuded warmth and welcome. I met his gaze and felt a rush of color flood my cheeks. It was impossible to forget that everyone in the room will witnessed what is to transpire, binding me to the emperor. Despite feeling ashamed under Zing Ah's stare, I refused to let it show. Resentment simmered within me towards the Emperor for forcing these bonds upon me, yet there was also a sense of safety and a hint of embarrassment.

The fight within me had dwindled away. I had fought relentlessly for my escape from my captors, and I had fought against my fate since I first arrived here. Now, exhaustion consumed me. That's not to say that I would simply submit and accept what had been forced upon me. No, on the contrary, I was resigned. Resigned and weary because there was no way to avoid the impending fate that awaited me tonight. It was an inevitable, non-negotiable occurrence, and refusing could potentially bring about my demise.

Turning away from Zing Ah's intense gaze, I shifted my attention to the Emperor. His back was turned towards me as he conversed with my uncle and other generals. I studied his commanding presence and couldn't help but wonder if there was a flicker of love for him deep within me. He had wounded my pride countless times, but in his own peculiar way, he had also shown me kindness. Though bitterness still lingered within me towards him, I also felt a longing and affection towards him that I couldn't fully comprehend. At times, my emotions didn't feel like my own, yet I embraced them to avoid tormenting myself further. What would it be like to be owned by him?

To no longer look at anyone else and instead follow his every lead? I questioned whether that person could truly be me. There was a stubbornness within me that would continue to challenge him at every turn. It was a stubbornness my father had tried to beat out of me, but had failed. I was not one to simply play the role of a pretty concubine because I did not see myself as such. I observed the Emperor as his expressions shifted while he spoke. I had to admit to myself that, above all else, he was undeniably handsome.

Both women and men were drawn to him, their eyes filled with longing to be in his favor and move within his inner circle. However, I also noticed a hint of wickedness in their eyes whenever I was near. It was a display of envy that I preferred not to have in my life. It was one of the reasons why I hesitated to stay here and accept his affection whenever he decided to bestow it upon me. Yet, I was aware that I received more of his attention compared to others, and that fact did not sit well with me. I detested conflicts.

He was a cold emperor, there was no denying that. I recognized that affection was not something he was accustomed to. Even when he desired me as his own, it was always through commands or threats. He never once uttered the words that could sway me, or the words that could make me fall and keep falling. Not once. And I questioned whether I truly wanted to hear those words from him, or if it was better for there to be a distance between us. Suddenly, his head turned and our eyes met.

There was no smile on his face, only an intense gaze that promised a multitude of things to come. Someone approached him and his gaze broke away from mine to engage in conversation. I was not foolish, nor was I in denial when it came to him. His touch always left a trail of heat in its wake, a heat that burned in the most exquisite way. That's how I knew there was something for him within me.

When Liu Chang dong had touched me, it didn't elicit that feeling. Instead, it sent shivers down my spine, but not the pleasant kind. No, it was the most repulsive kind of shivers. And that's how I knew I welcomed the Emperor's touch. A part of me craved that touch, yearned for it to erase the remnants of that time. A gentle touch on my arm snapped me out of my daze.

"It's time to prepare, my lord, let's go." I allowed him to lead me, aware of the gazes that fell upon me. I pulled my arm away and followed behind the eunuch . "You may choose a servant to assist you, but I must remain in the room to oversee the preparations." "The girl I brought with me, I would like her. She has served me before."

Nodding, he instructed one of the servants to fetch Meixiang. We walked for what felt like an eternity, turning corners until we reached a chamber. "This screen will remain closed, but the witnesses will be concealed behind it." he gestured towards the small space behind the screen.

"They will listen in. And afterwards, they will inspect the beddings." My face flushed at the insinuation. I wasn't foolish. I knew what was bound to happen tonight; it was inevitable, something that terrified me. Was I prepared to engage in that with everything that stood between us? I wasn't certain. And I despised the fact that the decision had been made for me. There was no point in dwelling on it now, because in the eyes of everyone, I now belonged to him and that could never be altered.

From the moment that cup touched my lips, it was irrevocable. "Come, let us remove these garments. You must be adorned in something more delicate and uncomplicated."

The servants diligently worked on the straps, removing layers of clothing at once. Soon, I stood exposed. Meixiang was brought in, her eyes averting as she stood motionless. I would keep her close because only she and I understood what we had endured.

"How has your stay been thus far?" I inquired as the others anointed my body with a captivating fragrance. I closed my eyes, savoring the scent while awaiting her response.

"Exceedingly splendid, my lord."

Opening my eyes abruptly, I fixed her with an intense gaze. "No need to use that title. Call me by my name, we have known each other for quite some time." I instructed her.

Clearing his throat, I was compelled to direct my attention towards the eunuch . "Apologies, my lord. But that would not be appropriate or acceptable, if the Emperor were to perceive her as too familiar with you, he would punish her. which I am certain is not something you desire."

Sighing, I nodded and turned away. "Assist me in releasing my hair." I requested of her. I felt a pang of sympathy for her standing there.

"From now on, you will be residing with me instead of in the servant quarters." I glanced at eunuch Xuan, daring him to object to my decision. However, his focus was fixed on the crimson, sheer robe he held in his hand. My face grew warm as I gazed upon the fabric. Nothing would be left to conceal. If I were to wear that, my entire body would be on display.

"Drink this, my lord."

the servant girl uttered, handing me a cup of liquid. I accepted it and brought it to my nose, but it held no scent.

"What is it?" I inquired, consuming it all at once. It tasted sweet upon my tongue. Her cheeks reddened and I wondered why.

"It's something to help you relax, my lord."

"You should feel its effects soon." The eunuch remarked as he handed the crimson garment to Meixiang. True to his words, a warm sensation began to swirl in my lower abdomen. My muscles gradually relaxed, and I could sense the warmth spreading throughout my entire being. It was a comforting feeling after a stressful day.