Chapter 1

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***Quick AN: So just to start off I want everyone to understand that I have a history of assault and abuse and once I was out of that situation I needed a way to cope. Writing this was my way of coping hence the graphic nature of the book (and why I put the trigger warnings that people insist on ignoring). I didn't know how to cope with the feeling I was having so my way of coping was to delude myself into thinking that it didn't happen to *me* it happened to this character I imagined. Writing this was my way of transferring my own feelings and experiences onto someone else (a fictional character) and having them experience a type of closure or happish ending because that's not something that I was able to get. Every character in this book was a mirror of a person that I had/have in my life and what part they played in both my trauma and my eventual start to healing properly. This wasn't a healthy coping mechanism but it's what I thought would work before actually starting therapy. Now that you have all of this information. Read at your own discretion.****

Chapter 1

Faster, run faster! I screamed in my head. I pushed my beaten body against its limits even though I wanted nothing more than to stop but I hadn't gotten far enough yet. Go faster, you're almost there, just a few more miles until you're in no man's land. I pushed my body harder than I ever had before and the border was in my sight now. I felt the excitement building in my chest and I stopped paying close attention to my surroundings. Big mistake.

I was thrown into a tree by a familiar dark brown wolf.  Beta Brent.  I whimpered in pain at the force he used to slam my smaller grey wolf into the tree. I wanted to fight back, I really did, but I was already so weak and I knew it was a fight I wouldn't win.

'Shift!'

I let out a whimper at the force in the command and shifted back into my human form. I curled in on myself in an attempt to keep myself warm on the snow-covered ground. I heard the cracking of bones and then a deep voice spoke.

"Get the fuck up!"

I couldn't move, he had broken some of my already bruised ribs when he threw me against the tree and it hurt to even breathe. He must have grown impatient with me because he had stormed over and grabbed me up by my arm none to gently and I let out a yelp of pain. He didn't even spare me a glance and proceeded to drag me through the woods behind him, ignoring my whimpers of pain.

"Walk bitch!"

"I can't! You broke my ribs."

"I don't give a fuck you lazy bitch, Tony is pissed and I can't wait to see what he has in store for you this time."

As if fueled by his excitement at my potential punishment, he throws me over his shoulder none to gently and takes off at top speed towards the place that I had almost managed to escape from, the pack house. Without me to slow him down, we reach the pack house in no time. Fear starts to creep into my chest as we make our way through the door and then up the stairs, to the Alpha's office. Bata Brent knocked on the door and entered. He dropped me unceremoniously onto the floor where I landed in a heap. I help in my scream of pain because I knew that they would get some kind of sick enjoyment out of it. I looked up and was met with the cold brown eyes of my worst nightmare. He very slowly stood from his chair and made his way over to me, not saying a word. I kept my head down the whole time, knowing that no one was ever supposed to make direct eye contact with the alpha, it was a direct challenge.

He stopped when his shiny dress shoes were in my line of sight. He stood there for a moment, perfectly still. And then he kicked me full force in the face. He rolled me over onto my back and all I saw were the black dots spotting the
ceiling. The last thing I heard before I blacked out, was someone unbuckling their pants.

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