Hannah's Story

Chapter 19 - Hannah

Sorry for taking so long to update.  Again.  Hope you like it.  ☺

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I was ecstatic.  Student teaching was over.  I was graduating in a few days, and would start applying for jobs after Christmas.  While I was waiting for job interviews, I would be subbing.  Thankfully, my high school said I could sub anytime since I was an alumnus and had student taught there.  After submitting all my paperwork, I just needed school board approval. 

I was excited.  Although Gabe and I had agreed to see other people, we were still going out at least once a week, as well as game night. I knew now that he wasn't marriage material, but he was someone to hang out with when everyone else was busy.  He wasn't bad company.  We just both wanted different things out of life.

I often wondered if he was keeping me around because our students thought our relationship was gossip worthy. He had made it a point when we'd decided we weren't exclusive to ask me to prom. Prom was five months away. I agreed to go with him, since I enjoyed spending time with my students, watching them enjoy what high school life had to offer.  Also, I could enjoy myself without having to tend to a date who didn't know anyone.  It was a win-win situation.

Thinking back, the majority of my own high school memories involved Ethan. We had always been together. Although that fact didn't go unnoticed by me, I really hadn't done much to fix it. Until the breakup. Afterward, we'd both muddled through senior year, with our classmates still thinking of us as a couple.  Who could blame them?  We'd been a couple since before we started dating. 

I'm not proud of what happened at the Valentine's party that some of our friends threw that year.  Ethan and I had both been drinking more than we should.  I wasn't drunk, per se, but I was certainly throwing caution to the wind.  I had been bold enough to walk over to my crush, Miles Samuelson, and ask him out.  Unfortunately, I was unaware that he and Ashley Harbow had just begun dating.  That night.  It was humiliating.

I wasn't a crier, but the alcohol had other ideas.  I walked away as fast as I could, with Ethan on my heels.  I found my way to a bedroom that was being used to store people's coats, and sat down on the bed.  Ethan was right beside me, offering me a tissue that I hadn't seen him pick up.

"It's okay," he'd said.  "He's a douche anyway."

I laughed, but my heart wasn't in it.

"He's not worth it.  I think they decided to go out after they came out of a bedroom.  You know what that means," he said.

I cried harder.  "Now I'm really a loser!" I'd cried, throwing myself backward into the pile of coats.

"You are not," Ethan had whispered huskily.  "You.  Are.  Perfect," he'd said, while straddling my body and leaning in to capture my lips. 

I did nothing to stop him.  It felt nice to be loved when I felt so worthless.  He was on top of me now, his hands frantically pulling my top over my head, while grinding our pelvises hungrily together. 

"Are you sure?" I remembered him asking me. 

"Positive," I'd said as I pulled his shirt over his head. 

He stood up, pulling down his pants, and began frantically searching through the night stand drawer.  "Please, please, please be here," he whispered. 

While he did that, I made sure my outfit matched his.  He paused, looked over at me, groaned, and opened the lower drawer.  "It's going to be over before it starts if we don't find protection," he mumbled.  What a stud. 

I noticed a plate on the mirrored dresser in the front of the room holding condoms.  I walked over, picked one up, and held it in front of me.

"Looking for this?" I'd asked, not bothering to think that sex with Ethan at this point was beyond stupid.

He lunged for it as I ripped it open. 

"I can do it," I'd offered while looking at the evidence that Ethan really wanted this to happen.

He blocked my hands with his and took the neon (yes, neon) disc from me. 

"I don't think I could handle your hands on me right now," he'd breathed.

And then, we were at it again.  At the time, being amongst all of the coats made the experience even more erotic.  Afterward, I felt horrible for possibly messing up someone's outerwear.

Although he didn't last very long, it gave us both the release we needed.  Of course, his was physical while mine was emotional.  I guess it was asking too much to climax while having sex for the second time ..... and being drunk. At least Ethan's attention had gotten my mind off of whatshisname. 

I cringed now remembering that night.  I'd been so stupid.  For weeks after that, Ethan had tried to date me again.  I blamed myself for leading him on.  He had just been at the wrong place at the wrong time sayings the right things.  I wasn't a slut by any means, but having someone so close, being so nice, that I'd already been intimate with, who obviously wanted me more than the guy I had wanted, was just too much for me to handle in my sad drunken state.  I liked to think if I had it to redo that I'd act differently, but I was pretty sure I was lying to myself.

Here I was now, waiting in my car outside the Malicks' house, wondering if I should go inside.  Gabe had called me as I was getting in my car to pick him up to tell me he had to cancel.  I drove over anyway, not wanting to go back inside and admit to my mom that "the idiot," as she often referred to Gabe, had cancelled. 

I jumped upon hearing a knock at my window.  I looked over to see Jesse and Rachel standing there, smiling.  I rolled down the window.

"Hi," I said.  "You scared me."

"Obviously," Jesse stated.  "What are you doing just sitting out here?"

"Gabe just called and cancelled," I lied, "and I was deciding whether to go home or stay here."

"Oh," Rachel responded as Jesse said, "Stay here."

"I'll be the odd man out," I said.

"No you won't," Jesse said, his lips slowly forming into a gigantic grin. 

I just looked at him like he'd gone mad.

"Ethan's here.   Without Nadia," he said in a singsong tone.  "I think they're on the verge of a breakup."

"Oh no, I'm leaving" I said, putting my hand on the key to start the car. 

Jesse's hand was over mine in an instant.  I looked up into his face as he said, "I'm not asking you to marry the guy.  Just be his partner."

He squeezed my hand lightly.  Try as I might, I could NOT say no.  My lips formed the word, but no sound emerged.  I tried shaking my head, but I couldn't make it move. 

"Great!  I'll take your silence as a yes," he said, removing his hand from mine. 

"You suck," I said, getting out of the car. 

"I bet if you sucked, Ethan would be really happy to see you," he said, smirking.

I looked at Rachel.  "I'm going to kill your boyfriend," I said. 

She laughed, then hit him on the arm.  "Don't be vulgar around Miss Drake," she said.

"Fine," Jesse said, feigning sadness.

I followed them inside, wishing this night over with before it had begun.

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Please remember to vote and/or comment.  How do you think the Ethan - Hannah game night partnership will work?

Pic is of Hannah's memory.