Hannah's Story

Chapter 41 - Hannah

Don't get too excited ..... just Hannah's version of what happened in the last
chapter.

Video above is the song they dance to. The song is pretty old, but it fits.

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I opened the door and saw Jesse looking at me from the other side. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped for a few seconds. Why was he here?  I walked out the door and stepped onto the porch. He looked disheveled, like he'd just had sex. His hair was kind of a mess, like Rachel's fingers had made their way through it in the throes of lovemaking. Ugh. It nauseated me.

"What's up?" I asked, noticing his unbuttoned shirt and untied tie. It was more evidence that he'd been undressed not so long ago.

"I didn't get to dance with you," he said, sounding lost.  

What? That was weird. Why was he standing on my porch, talking about dancing with me, when not so long ago he and Rachel were getting it on? I studied him.

I wanted to ask if he'd been drinking or smoking something, but that wasn't really Jesse's way. I noticed that his pupils were gigantic, though, and he looked a little dazed, now that I was focusing on his face instead of his attire. Something was off.

"And you came here to tell me that?" I asked, for lack of something better to say.

He looked down at his feet and back up at me sheepishly. If I wasn't so confused, I would have died from how cute he looked.

"Well, I looked for you at the prom first," he answered.

I knew it was stupid, but I was so happy he'd shown up, even if he'd been with Rachel first. I wasn't sure what it meant, but at least I was important enough for him to worry so much about a promise.

"Sorry," I said, "I left." I didn't mention that being in the same building as him and his girlfriend while she took his virginity had made me physically sick.

He asked if Gabe was with me. When I told him he had just dropped me off, I could have sworn he let out a deep breath. Had I imagined that?

"Can we dance?" he asked me. He looked like he might cry if I said no. Heck, why would I say no? The kid drove from the school after having sex with his girlfriend just to dance with me. I led him back inside and handed him a Bluetooth speaker. I told him to pick the song. I doubted he even really thought about it. He probably searched slow songs and picked the first one on the list.

When the music started to play, he put down his phone and walked over to me. I could hardly breathe, I wanted him so badly. Why was he torturing me this way? We held onto each other and swayed back and forth. Our faces were close, and I couldn't stop thinking about what it would feel like to kiss him. To keep myself in line, I lay my head on his shoulder and listened to the music. It was definitely Madonna's voice belting out the slow song around us. How accurate the words were, at least for me:

I'm crazy for you.
Touch me once and you'll know it's true.
I never wanted anyone like this,
It's all brand new,
You'll feel it in my kiss.
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you.
Trying hard to control my heart,
I walk over to where you are,
Eye to eye we need no words at all.
Slowly now, we begin to move.
Every breath I'm deeper into you.
Soon we two are standing still in time,
If you read my mind, you'll see
I'm crazy for you.....

I was broken out of my stupor when I felt him shaking. He didn't feel cold, but I asked anyway. He said he wasn't, but his shaking got worse.

"Are you okay?" I asked, worried something might be wrong.

"Yeah," he said, his voice cracking as his arms tightened around me. I returned the squeeze. Aside from the confusion I felt about the situation, I had never fit better against another person. Honestly, in that moment, I'd rather have remained in this position with Jesse indefinitely than have sex with anyone else for the rest of my life. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it while it lasted. The song ended, so I thought we were finished. Jesse made no moves to stop swaying, so I let him go as the song started again. He must have put it on repeat.

I let myself enjoy the second round in case I never got to be this close to this guy again. I felt so dumb for liking him so much, but I couldn't help it. I wanted Jesse Malick more than practically anything else in the world. So reveling in one last dance with him wasn't too much to ask, was it?

When the song ended for the second time and was starting on the third round, I figured something might be wrong.

"Jesse, the song's over," I said, searching his adorable face for some sign of recognition.

"Oh, okay," he said, looking flustered. "I guess I should get back to Rachel now. After all, she doesn't even know I left the hotel."

He hadn't told Rachel he'd left the hotel? "What?" came out of my mouth before I fully processed what he'd said.

"We were about to ......um ....... start things when I told her I'd be back. I had to dance with you," he said.

Oh. He left her? To dance with me? Now he was going back to have sex ....... with her? Really?

I had no control over my speech when I blurted out, "You mean you two didn't sleep together yet? Jesse, how could you leave her there to come have some stupid dance with me?"

I could tell by the look on his face that my words had hurt him. It had come out sounding much more condescending than I'd meant for it to. Actually, I really hadn't meant to say it at all. My thoughts had just turned into words as they formed, and now I had hurt the person most important to me.

"I didn't think it was stupid, " he said, tears pooling in his beautiful brown eyes. I hated myself in that moment for causing him pain. Was he upset because I'd yelled at him about Rachel, or only that I'd called our dance stupid? It surely couldn't have only been the dance comment. That's the part I meant the least. I loved that dance. I wished it could have lasted forever. It just didn't fit with all of tonight's other occurrences.

He walked onto the porch and down to his car in a fury. I wasn't sure if it was anger or sadness that propelled him. I watched as he got into his car and wiped at his eyes. There had to be more to it. How could I let him pull away without figuring out what was going on in his obviously tortured mind? He started his car and turned on his lights as it thundered in the distance. It was fitting that it was thundering following that train wreck of an interaction Jesse and I had just experienced. I was contemplating signaling for him to hold on a minute as his car began to roll down my driveway. I needed to know what was bothering my Jesse. It thundered again, and lightning flashed in the sky. The car came to a halt, and the driver's side door opened. Had he read my mind? What was happening?

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Sorry to cut it short, but the next chapter will pick up where this one left off. I really want Jesse to tell the next part.

Please remember to vote and/or comment. Why did Jesse stop the car? Is Hannah imagining it?