Hannah's Story

Chapter 31 - Hannah

So sorry I've been MIA for so long.  I am going to try to be better with updates, but I'm not making any promises because I don't want to disappoint anyone.  I know how the rest of the book is going to go, so I should be better.  Thanks for sticking with me.  I hope you enjoy this chapter. 

Don't get too excited about the pic - it's just an extension of the last chapter.

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I knew it was a mistake to stay out in the living room with Jesse, but I couldn't make myself go back to the bedroom. When I had walked out there, I didn't have any idea that he was there.  I was just going to watch some Golden Girls until I fell asleep.  I did it at home often, and thought it might help.  I couldn't sleep after thinking about my body's response to Jesse's touch.  I was really freaked out, and didn't have an objective party with which to talk about it.  I'm sure it didn't mean anything, but it worried me just the same. 

I could say I was just testing my theory about not liking Jesse when we began watching TV together, but I honestly just felt entirely comfortable around him.  I can all but guarantee that my comfort level was why I'd fallen asleep so quickly.  I'm just not sure how we went from wide awake on opposite sides of the sofa to tangled together in the center.  Had I put the moves on him in my sleep?  Had he responded?  I couldn't have a thing for Jesse. 

First off, he was a student and I had just been a student teacher at his school.  Secondly, he was my ex-boyfriend's baby brother.  On top of those reasons were his dad's stupid no dating siblings rule and the fact that he was five years younger than me.  Oh yeah, and he has a girlfriend. I refused to be a cradle robber or the "other woman".  Thus, my internal struggle with waking up tangled in his warm, toned body.  I couldn't have dreamt of a better feeling. I couldn't have dreamt of a worse person for whom to have said feeling.

It startled me when Rhia and Max found us and woke Jesse, but I thought I managed to look like I was still asleep.  As Jesse spoke to his parents, he moved his legs against mine.  I had such an urge to just roll him over and straddle him.  After that, I didn't have a plan.  That's as far as my twisted fantasy went.  What that meant I didn't want to attempt to interpret.   I just remained still and pulled him closer at Max's mention of things that would take his warmth away from me.

Finally, after some banter between Max and Jesse about why he hadn't stood up, I decided to step in. Even if they didn't believe me, I thought they might go easier on me than on Jesse.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed. "Why does this keep happening?"

I sat up and began apologizing to Max and Rhia. "I'm sorry this looks bad. We were just watching television together because neither of us could sleep. I'm not even sure when we fell asleep. I think we were both just so tired, we didn't notice. "

Rhia was smiling and Max looked relieved. I was glad they were calming down.

"Just don't let it happen again," Max said.

"Well, at least not while you're still dating other people," Rhia added, and I momentarily resented Rachel. This awesome kid next to me was hers to lie next to her whenever she wanted.

Jesse looked at me apologetically and I smiled at him. "I'm going to head out to the deck for a few minutes," I said, needing to escape the growing urge to drag him back down onto the sofa with me.

"I'm going to take a shower," he said before standing up and heading toward the stairs.

When I got out to the deck, I pulled out my phone and stared down at it.  Who was I going to text?  Most of the people I shared experiences with were here.  I couldn't talk to any of them about how I was feeling.  They'd either shoot me down or make fun of me.  I needed to reach out to someone, though.  Someone who wasn't on vacation with me.