Hannah's Story

Chapter 39 - Hannah

Okay.  There may be more chapters than I originally planned.  Hopefully I will be able to write the next chapter rather quickly, as I've been dying to get to this point in the story for a really long time.  The video above is Mr. Brightside by the Killers.  You'll figure out why I chose to put it up after you read this chapter. 

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HANNAH

As I stood greeting the prom couples, I couldn't help but seethe over what had just happened.  Jesse had been on my side to be greeted, and Rachel had said something to him, then switched him places.  I know it was something stupid and juvenile to be upset about, but that might have been my last chance to talk to a virginal Jesse!

I was a mess.  I should hang my head in shame for calling myself an adult.  I was acting like a teenager.  A young teenager.  Who was I to get mad over which part of a prom couple was on my side? It's not like I was going to tell him I had feelings for him and he was going to leave Rachel right there to run off into the sunset with me. That's not even what I was about.

All these Hollywoodesque romantic endings were nice in theory, but they were by no means realistic. I had to face it. I was never going to tell Jesse that I had feelings for him that went far beyond friendship. It was weird, though. It wasn't like I looked at him and got all hot and bothered. I liked looking at him, no doubt, but it was spending time with him that did it for me. I loved our conversations, and how he always made me feel comfortable somehow. Those days during vacation when we woke up in each others' arms were some of my favorite memories.

"Switch me sides," I heard Gabe whisper, bringing me out of my internal dialogue.

"Why?" I asked, before looking up.

"The couple after next," he whispered even more softly.

I looked. There was Chase Wheeler, the source of my agony a while back. He was in line with Heather Delacruz. She seemed like a nice girl, but rumors had it she didn't stay with one guy for too long. I was hoping that Chase had just snagged her as his prom date, and that she wasn't serious about him. He just seemed so unpredictable, and I worried for her safety.

Without further conversation, I switched Gabe sides. Chase winked at me. I was shaking Heather's hand and telling her to have fun and be careful before I knew it. Soon, they were gone. After about five more couples, the line had ended and we were finished with our greeting duties. Next was the dance portion of the evening.

"Thanks for thinking on your feet and keeping Chase from having a reason to touch me," I said to Gabe.

He gestured toward the dance floor with a lift of his head to where Chase and Heather were dancing with some friends.

"Of course. I can't quite figure him out. He's either going to end up raping someone or he's going to come out someday and lead a happy, gay life," he said.

"What?" I asked, confused by his statement.

"Look at how he leers at the pretty girls, and the ones dressed provocatively. He's either so perverted that he only sees them as objects, or he's so conflicted he doesn't know how else to see them," Gabe went on, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

"I'm not sure I'm following you," I said.

"See, I think some guys who end up attracted to guys start off by thinking they are straight, but never really have a physical reaction to girls. As a result, they use what they know to feign an interest in women. They can only go by what they see others do, so they surround themselves with attractive women and pretend to enjoy them. If a guy is a particularly bad actor or tries too hard to fake it, they can come off looking sleazy when they are just confused," he explained.