october 10th, 2016
my best friend pushes me into the gorgeous girl. "go dance with her!" she whispers, which i can barely hear over the music. the bass is beating wildly, but i shake my head in fear.
"i don't dance," i reply.
later she comes up to my friend and me. we were standing up against a wall, talking of our sorrows of torn love. "do you guys wanna dance?" she essentially asks, throwing a hand around.
i smile an apologetically and shake my head. "no, i'm good," my friend replies.
even later my best friend takes my hand and tries to force it next to hers. i squirm and back away, letting my shyness taking over everything i have left.
i feel timid, scared, and alone, but the evening is almost over. my irrational way of being is making me sick. i'm tired and insignificant. i want to fade into the walls, so perhaps i'm not there at all.
but i am.
