october 12th, 2016
there are times when i think her and i would be perfect. and i hate myself for that. because even so, by some miracle of time, deep in everyone's hearts there lies a kind of understanding >> that no, we wouldn't.
and i hate that.
i hate a lot of myself recently. mainly because i believe it's my fault. mainly because i believe there's no way. in getting dreams back. mainly because i know she's happy. without me.
and that's scary. not really. it's more. heartbreaking. i hate
that it's taking so long
for me to finally give up and let this happen and be okay and be happy that she's happy but
i can't.
and i don't know why, because her happiness should be enough for me, shouldn't it? but there's always this pain >> this "no, it isn't okay," that's hidden in my heart.
i hope everyone's happy watching me fall apart.
