november 20th, 2016
dear ingrid:
people will be people. and i know that's not what you want to hear right now. because you've been through hell with people. you could care less. your heart is a mess, and your place on this earth is one you want to seek.
i know you're hurting.
you try to tell me you're strong. and that's a good start, sunshine. but, deep inside,
i know you're hurting.
you don't know what to do. you've gotten angry, and fallen through into the trap of self blame. and your shame is through the roof this time. your mind is twisting of what they're saying about you, but
people will be people.
and i know you don't want to hear that right now. because i know
i know that you're hurting.
this isn't easy. feeling like you did something wrong by standing up for yourself. i think it's because you never were good at that. you just got angry, and temper got the best of you. it's in your blood, you know.
i know you don't try to be that way. but sometimes, you need to. you need them to see how badly they've hurt you. you need them to see how much you cared. you need them to see your side, your point of view and provide some explanation why.
i know. i know you thought it would be okay. and truthfully? you're still right about that. you are okay. they're still out of your life, and you want them to stay there. you want them never to return, and that's okay. you deserve to look out for yourself. you deserve to heal. you deserve to repeal your hateful demeanor. you deserve. so much. you deserve more than them.
and to hell if they don't agree. you're you. you're me. you deserve. more. than this.
so go out there, and live. keep breathing, keep feeling, keep striving for that "alive" you're looking for.
you'll find it someday. i know you will.
and right now, it's okay if you're still down, or broken, or not completely sound-- it's okay. let them be them. no matter if they believe you're wrong. it's you who matters in this process of heartbreak.
remember that.
you don't owe anyone anything. all you owe, is yourself. give yourself time. give yourself happiness. give yourself hope for love. give yourself more. than them. because i swear,
you'll be happier if you do.
i know you're hurting.
and that is okay.
endless love,
you
