september 5th, 2017
BUT SOMETIMES I OWN THE WORD CRAZY. SOMETIMES I HAVE TO OWN IT. BECAUSE SOMETIMES BELIEVE IT OR NOT THAT'S ALL I HAVE LEFT.
IT'S ALL I HAVE OF MYSELF : THAT ONE PIECE OF IDENTITY I OWN. BECAUSE SOMETIMES
I LOSE WHO I AM IN OTHER PEOPLE, I LOSE MY MIND IN MY FEELINGS, I LOSE MY HEART IN MY THOUGHTS. THIS IS HOW I WORK, NOW. THIS IS HOW I OPERATE.
THIS IS ALL I HAVE LEFT: THAT ONE FIVE-LETTER WORD THAT POPS UP INTO MY HEAD WHEN I SAY "I'M LOSING MY SANITY" IT'S
CRAZY
THAT'S ALL I HAVE AND YOU TOLD ME TO WATCH MY MOUTH BUT
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE LEFT IN YOUR HOUSE ARE THE THINGS YOU DON'T WANT?
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE ONE CHARACTERISTIC YOU WANTED TO BE GONE WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT WAS REAL?
WHAT HAPPENS THEN? AM I ALLOWED TO SAY CRAZY? AM I ALLOWED TO FEEL CRAZY?
BECAUSE GUESS WHAT DAD
NO MATTER IF IT IS ALLOWED OR NOT
I FEEL CRAZY TO MY CORE.
I FEEL HOPELESS TO MY HEART'S BEATS.
I FEEL INSANE TO MY INK-STAINED FINGERTIPS.
SO HOW IN THE FUCKING WORLD CAN
I BE SOMETHING SO UGLY AND NOT EVEN CALL IT BY NAME?
because guess what?
it's true. it's all true.
your daughter is crazy.
