october 30th, 2016
see.. i was feeling happy tonight. i was, truly. well, maybe not completely. i was torn in the middle between euphoria and melancholy. they both sent their armies to war-- but i'm the only casualty.
first it was my temper that slid me into a cliff of short-tempered anger and fast remarks of frustration.
then it was my brother, who was due to move across the country in december.
and finally, it was the tragic love song that's been playing for months. just another reminder of my foolish nature and lack of courage, my indecisiveness and boiling feelings of dependency.
-- STOP DEPENDING !
but, i can't. i mean, i can. it's difficult. to force myself into that spirit of letting go and following the trees, my poetry for me, and writing as a passion. it's difficult because when it comes to her, all i wish to do is scribble love notes on everything that's there.
i can't, anymore. i need to refocus my gaze on what's important to me. or rather, what should be: genuine truth.
