Just A Dream [ A Carl Grimes X Reader Fanfiction ]

Chapter 15

Y/n's POV

*Trigger Warning*

Carl fell Asleep a few hours ago, And I Keep Thinking about my family members and i Somehow Think it's my fault... They died because of me...

"They Died because of you, And you Didn't even Care! You Shouldn't Deserve To live.. You don't deserve Carl, Glenn, Maggie, Carol, Not even Daryl!

Nobody Loves you y/n... Do it.. They won't miss you... They will forget you In a heartbeat." I Shake my Head To stop the voices, but they just Keep Coming... I slowly Got up from the bed and looked back at Carl. "I'm Sorry Carl.. Please don't Hate me After this..." I sighed and Opened my Dresser and Looked for my "Old Friend." I found it and Started Walking to the Prison Bathroom. "Do it y/n! They Won't miss you! They hate you... They just fake to Like you Because you Pity Them." The Voices Screamed at me and I Didn't Notice that i was In the Bathroom For maybe 2 Minutes. My hands were Shaking and my Heart was Racing. I sat Down Near the Wall to my Knees to my Chest. I Slowly Started Crying and I forgot people were Asleep So I quickly Stop crying Loudly and Went to Silent Sobs.

                    Carl's POV. 

I Woke up And y/n Wasn't there i looked at the Dresser and Saw it was open. I looked around in the Dresser And Saw A random Spot Missing something. I Know she Likes to Fill the Whole Thing with her Stuff. I Looked around Quickly, Put my Hat on and Ran Out the Cell. I Looked in the cafeteria First and no y/n. Maybe the Bathroom? I'll check there..

               .                   Y/n's POV

I Slowly Dragged The blade Across My skin "This one is For My Mom.." Blood Started to Leak out of my arm "This one is for my Friends.." I Dragged The blade Across my Other Arm. I slowly Put the blade to my Wrist. "Do it Y/n! We Are the Only ones Who love you... We want you to be happy!" The Voices Said "A-And This One Is For Carl..." I Said And Put the Blade on my Wrist. I thought about all the Memories of me And Carl and My hand started to Shake more. I heard a Door Slam Open and I Didn't look up. I Slowly Dragged the Blade across My Wrist Half way. I Heard Someone yell at me Then Ran to me Grabbing the Blade. "W..Why Would you Do this To yourself, Princess..?" He Said His Voice Cracking. "T...The Voices Were Screaming at me..." I Said Looking up at Them. It Was Carl.. I Thought he Was Asleep.. I Instantly Had Guilt on my Face as i Saw him, He Looked Broken and Scared. "Y/n... Y..You Didn't Tell me You Had Voices..." He Said Picking me Up and Running to the Door. I Just Looked down at my Bleeding Arms. I Only Cut Two Times , And that was the Day Before/After Everything that Happened. The Cuts Healed before i met Carl..I Saw Carl Run to My/Our Cell. He Laid me down on the bed and Ran out Getting Bandages and Stitches, And wire for them. He ran back to the Cell and Looked at me "This may Hurt, Just Hold My other Hand Princess.." He said Giving me His other Hand he Wasn't using. I Grabbed it and Held it Tightly as he put Stitches in my Arm and Half way on my wrist. "Okay! All done.." He said Kissing my Forehead. I Smiled sadly and looked down. "Hey..Hey.. Don't be Ashamed, It wasn't your Fault.. I Will always Support You." He Said Pecking my Lips Quickly. "W..What if Rick thinks I'm Doing it To Get Pity.." I Said Starting to Cry again. "I'll Yell at him Again saying it wasn't your fault. No One Should Get Yelled at For Something they Can't Control." he said Smiling at me. "Okay.." Just when I Finished my sentence I Saw Rick Walk by with his Hand on his Head and he Was Groaning. "This Hangover Sucks..." Rick said and I Looked at Carl More Depressed than i was. If he Was Drunk That means That Maybe all That he Said Was True but never Said it Or It was the Drink Talking. "Dad.. Do you Remember What you Said to Y/n?!" Carl yelled at Rick causing him to Flinch. "N..No What did i say..?" He Asked Widening His eyes. "You Said i couldn't Date a "Trashy Girl" Like her and that should couldn't Protect her self and that she's always in trouble." He Growled at him. "Oh... Y..Y/n I'm-" Carl then Cut Rick off. "Yeah, And Did you Know that Some Of the Voices Made her Cut her Self!? All that stuff you said Got to her and The Voices in her Head Taunted her With Them!" He screamed back. Rick looked at my Arms and my Wrist and Start to Cry From the Guilt. "Y/N! I'm So So Sorry!" He Said. "It's Fine...I Guess.. I'm Alive so that's all that Matters." I Sighed. Carl Looked at me Weirdly As like he was Mad at my Response. Rick Walked out and Carl turned to me. "Why Did you say it was Fine!? YOU CUT YOUR SELF Y/N! YOU TRIED TO KILL YOURSELF!" He screamed/Cried at me. "WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO SAY!? OH I DON'T ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY?!" I Screamed back. "Whatever...I'm Going On tower Watch. Don't Do anything to yourself While i'm Gone.." He Said Rubbing his head. I just Nodded and Sat on the Bed Getting Lost In my Thoughts and Voices as he Walked out. I Shook my Head and Grabbed my Journal. I Started to Draw My Demons and Me Being Taunted by them. It was the Only Idea i had Right Now. I Just Had a Fight with Carl and I Kinda Wish i Didn't Accept Rick's Apology... Because Clearly Carl Didn't want me too...

                   *One Hour Later*

Carl Came Back And i just Pretended He Wasn't there. He Sighed and Sat in Front of me Making me Look up From my Journal. "What Carl.." I Said "Look.. I'm Sorry i Yelled at you.. I Was Just Stressed Out From You Hurting yourself.. And My Dad saying all those Things about you.. And Just Everything Bad Going On.." He Said Sighing. "It's Okay.. I Knew you Cared.. My Mom Never Cared That I Cut my Self Before All Hell Broke Loose. She Just Looked at me Like I Was Insane. And Didn't call For anybody. Just left me For my Thoughts and Voices. So i knew you Cared.." I Said Fiddling with my Fingers. "I'm Sorry you Had a Tough Life Before This.." He said Sighing and Kissing my Head. "I Just Didn't want to Lose you.. You're My Everything.. I Love you Y/n." He Said Smiling at me. I Smiled back And Kissed him And He Kissed back Like Always. It wasn't a Heated Kiss, It Was Just a Simple Gentle Kiss. It Showed me that he Cared... And I Care for him Too...

1187 WORDS! WOWZA! So Didn't type This on my Phone, I typed it on a Computer i Type way more Faster on a Computer than a Phone because I Have been on Computers like my Whole Life Lmao. But AYE I'm Like Really Proud of my Self For this LONG Chapter :D I Know it's Early But I Kinda Just Update at anytime But i Update Everyday Except Weekends Because that's When i get To Relax and Sleep In. Only Rarely I Update on Weekend It the Chapter Will/Would Most likely Be Short. Okay Loves! Hope you liked the Chapter Don't forget to Like, Comment, And Share! I'll See you In the Next Chapter Or A/N! Bye!
~Katie <3