The Moon Princess (DISCONTINUED!)

Maybe

A/N: Hiya guys! So... I'm sorry I didn't update these few weeks, I've had all this stuff going on. For me, school is over for the year, so I'll be able to update more often and make you guys happy, hopefully. Happy New Years! I'm not gonna lie, it took a lot of motivation for me to write this and I'm not that happy with how it turned out. I know it's short, but don't be mad. By the way, I poured so much emotion in to this... yeah. Well, enough of my blabbing, let's get back to the story!

~ Alexis' P.O.V ~

"I see. So this is all about your friend's death." Harry spoke through the silence, glancing at me with questioning eyes. They were filled with so much sympathy, so much sadness. All because of my pitiful life.

My eyes narrowed, still staring out into the pitch black forest. Night was here and the moon had been summoned, giving us a small amount of light. All around us, the trees swayed and filled the forest with the sound of rustling leaves. It was finally peaceful. "It's not because of Ace, you may think that, but that's not why I did what I did."

That was only partially true, however. I still blamed myself for Ace's death, something I probably would never stop doing. His death caused a great amount of guilt to forever be attached to my soul. No matter how much I tried, I would never be able to forgive myself for what I did to him.

Even though I new Ace was gone, that was not the only reason I acted the way I did. I wanted to end my life. I wanted to be free for once. I still do. The one thing stopping me is Harry, he's the only person here for me. He's the one that's supporting me through what I would call a mental break down. He's the only one caring for me.

We sat in silence, once again. Both our minds swarming with thoughts. My thoughts were mainly all about Harry, how he just saved my life... how he actually wanted me to live. Although I had only meet him, he still cared for me. In my time of need, he was the one to answer my call, to save me from myself. And for that, I'd be forever grateful.

My knees hugged to my chest, I scooted closer to the vampire. Laying my head on his shoulder, I wrapped my arms around his seated body, feeling him tense beneath my hold. His stiff posture didn't last long and soon he was relaxed in my embrace, leaning towards my body protectively. A smile graced my lips when he did so. "Thank you, Harry. This means so much to me, having someone here for me. Thank you..."

Placing a cold hand on my shoulder, he slowly pulled back and stared sharply into my eyes. "It's my duty, Princess. I've been sworn to protect The King's beloved from all harm. If that means protecting you from him, then I will gladly do so. He will never harm you, I promise." His words were soft and comforting, growing quiet towards the end.

Standing up, a wide smile on my face, I offered him my hand. Smiling back, he placed his large hand in mine and pulled himself back up. Though she was quiet, I knew that my wolf was at ease with him. He seemed trustworthy, after all, he didn't let me die. That fact alone gained him my wolf's trust. She wasn't exactly fully calm, as I'd thought, Harry's words about keeping us from her mate unsettled her. She still wanted Louis.

It disgusted me. But I'd mentioned that many times before, so I'd rather not waste my time and rant about it again. If she wanted Louis; fine, but I'm not going to participate and then end up getting my heart broken. Still, I wished things could've been different.

I wished Louis was someone different. Someone that would just hold me, care for me in times I needed him, in times I was tired. Like right now. I'm tired of life. I'm tired of being alone. Of my solitary life when no one wants me near them, when no one even cares. It's tearing me apart, like two people ripping me in pieces. Ripping my soul in half. It hurts. It burns. Like a fire, feeding off my pain like oxygen, eating me alive until I'm nothing but pathetic ashes. Ashes of sorrow and depression, of someone I used to be. Someone that was once happy.

Some say depression's like a virus. That it eats away at your happiness until all you have left is the safety of your mind, filled with a lack of life. Drained from the effort you put into living, or pretending to actually live, anyway. And when it gets to that stage, there's no chance of surviving. No bother in trying...

I guess that's true. There's really no reason for me to be trying as hard as I am. No one's going to be there when I'm fully 'recovered'. No one's going to fall asleep with me, lulled by the sound of my breathing, to know I'm truly alive and not some shell of a person. To know that I hadn't gave in to the temptation of death like many others had before. But that's okay.

I don't want anyone to worry, I don't want them to know this pain, so I'll keep it to myself. I'll hide this pain, I'll hide my sorrow and force that smile on my face, fake a laugh when needed. Anything for everyone else to be happy. Anything for them. I'll be okay. Well, that's what I tell myself before I go to sleep. But the space between reality and my dreams is the one place I don't want to be.

It's a nightmare, but I don't have a chance to wake up, because it's my harsh reality. In this space of time, I look back on all the times when I smiled, a genuine smile and the pain grows, forcing me to watch longer. The visions switch to the people I disappointed and all the people I let die, because of my selfish ways. It switches to that God awful picture of Ace's death, once again and I try to scream, I try so hard, but I can't.

My mouth is sealed shut and sometimes, I can't even breathe. Sometimes I don't want to. Sometimes, the burning in my lungs dulls the ache and then, I'm at ease. Though it doesn't last for long. Soon after that, my nightmares begin. Fully detailed dreams full of agony and agony only. In there, I can scream. And I do. I scream for hours on end, until I wake up with a start, my whole body shaking.

Because of this, I don't want to fall asleep. I actually dread the moment when I have to. It's quite funny how sleep use to be my solace, the place where I had could be at peace and now I wish that I could never step foot in that hell again. It made me physically sick just thinking about it. Shivering, I stare up at the moon, my eyes closing in content, the soft, woodsy scent filling my nose.

I need to stay awake... I need to stay awake for everyone. They need to think I'm okay. That I'll be okay. That this isn't changing me. Just stay awake for their sake. No one can harm me if I stay awake. Holding my breath for a couple of seconds, my eyes wandered out past the forest, thinking about what Louis was doing right now. Was he looking for me? Did he regret what he did? Did he long for me like I did him?

Shaking my head slowly, I glanced at Harry from the corner of my eye, watching him closely. Although he was staring at the moon like I was doing, his shoulders were tense and his facial features remained unreadable. What he thought was totally closed off to me. His whole body just radiated calmness, even though the situation we were in was not exactly the easiest of situations.

Despite the fact he was mysterious, I knew Harry would stay at my side and be a loyal friend. When I explained all of these feelings to him, he offered me someone to talk to by staying silent, by just being here. He didn't even know me, yet he fully understood the things I was going through and decided to stay and help me. Help me get past this deep, loneliness I feel. If I ever could get past it, that is. Maybe I could make it through, but I had a feeling I wouldn't be able to make it alone.

Catching me staring, Harry turned and flashed me his dazzling, killer smile. It was contagious, so I just had to smile back and guess what? This time, it was genuine.

Maybe, just maybe I could get through this... with Harry's help.