Black Rose

46.

Happy New Years everyone! I hope this is your year. I hope you have plenty of blessings in your life for this new year. If you keep your ambition just as high as your hopes, you will achieve everything God wants you to.

I just want to thank you all for supporting me. Never have I ever thought I'd reach 1k followers and almost 200k reads. I didn't start writing on here until March 2016, and I've come a long way for this short amount of time. Without you all I wouldn't be here. I enjoy writing with all my heart and I love that you all like what I write. So thank you again! I appreciate all of you.

Majesty A. Turner

This house is no longer a home to me. He now knows where I sleep. I'm the lonely girl he now holds in the palm of his hands. I'm so wrong to even let him in my home. I've never felt so damn weak!

It feels like it was just yesterday, but it's been a week now. I sometimes thank God that he knocked me upside the head with a pan first. If I remembered every second and detail of the night, I don't think I'd be here at this very moment.

Tears threatened to spill from my eyes, but when the shower water was loudly cut off I somehow managed not to be weak and cry. I kept the covers up to my chin as I watched Alex limp into the room. We haven't been too good since he stood me up on our anniversary. He's lucky if I even say two words to him. Despite him making me feel worthless, I still worry about him. I wanted to help him to the bed, but I didn't. I feel too drained to move from this spot.

Alex let out a loud wince as he finally sat on the edge of the bed with his back towards me. Droplets of water shaped as tears cascaded down his tattooed back. My eyes studied my face that he has on his back for some reason. Why get me on your skin forever if you are no where near loyal? Does he even love me?

"You know," Alex spoke up after clearing his throat, "maybe you'll feel better if you go to church with me."

I scoffed and shifted on my side. What does he know about feeling better? What does he know about God? He never goes to church, but suddenly he wants to.

A sigh left his lips as he struggled to roll over on his stomach and rest his head on my leg. Out of annoyance, I bucked my leg in hopes he would move his head. He of course didn't. Instead, he somehow got me to lay on my back. Alex rested his chin on my lower stomach and lightly gripped my hips. "Just come to church with me baby." He left a soft kiss below my belly button. "If you were to die today, could you say you're going to heaven? I sure as hell know I wouldn't go up there." He continued to leave wet kisses on my stomach while I pretended to think.

What do I look like going to church? God doesn't care about me. If he did he wouldn't allow for some things to happen.

I've been nothing but a good person. I never get anything good in return. Being a good person in this world gets you nowhere. They say to treat others like you want to be treated, but that's a myth. Someone can be nice to everyone, and never have blessings. It seems as if all the terrible sinners gets the blessings. Look at Alex, he got me.

I used to see him as so perfect.

I absentmindedly ran my fingers through his kinky curls. "I used to look at you as if you were a rose." I mumbled. "Oh, how wrong was I..."

His eyes pierced into mine. He tried to figure out what I meant, or maybe he was trying to read my face. "Talk to me.." He spoke quietly and gently. "I wanna know what's on your mind, I know I'm a fuck up. If you wanna say it then say it."