Love And Honour (Book 2)

Chapter XXXVI

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"Logan." Zara laughs nervously as she reaches out with her hands to find Logan. The maid who had escorted her through the woods to the natural rock pool, blindfolded, steps away. She smiles and nods at Logan who silently thanks her. Then she slinks backwards and out of view, heading back to the manor. "Logan. Did I seriously need to be blindfolded?" She questions with a giggle.

She feels his hands at her cheeks and her nerves multiply. Gently, with deliberate slowness, he removes the blindfold and she blinks as her eyes adjust to the light. She scans her surroundings and she gasps. Candles float on the water and are placed around the forest floor. It makes the little area beautiful and mysterious and incredibly romantic. Birds chirp and sing happily to one another above their heads and the sweet smell of growing plants and aromatic flowers floats in the soft breeze. She takes all of this in wide eyed wonder.

It takes her a moment to register that Logan has sunk down to his knee. She swallows nervously. She should be feeling excitement, happiness, but neither of these feelings is present. Fear only remains and plenty of guilt. Logan takes her hand and she feels her heart burst with affection. This is the man she has loved for so long. The fear should not be there. She does not fear spending her life with him. She wants to do so. She feels as if she needs to. The fear stems from something else.

"Siren, my Siren hopefully," his smile stops her heart, it is so sweet and endearing, "would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"

His eyes scan her features as he waits for a response. She looks stunning this evening. She looks like his beautiful Siren but something is holding her back. She does not look joyful, nor does she look delighted. Her grey eyes are soft and he sees the love he feels for her echoed back within them. However he does not see the warmth they could hold. They are cold and he has a flashback to tears streaming down her face as she stared down at him. It confuses him.

"Siren..."

"Please, do not." She begs softly and tries to retract her hand. Logan holds on despite her efforts and rises to his feet. He touches her cheek where a tear has dropped and she nestles into his hand, closing her eyes.

"Do not...ask you to marry me? Do not... call you Siren? What am I doing wrong?" Logan implores of her and more tears drift down her cheeks. "What has changed since this morning?"

"Nothing. Nothing has changed but I cannot answer you until I tell you something. I would love to say yes and have us riding off into the sunset but I fear this may always hang over us. You need to know and I cannot handle the guilt anymore and the fear of losing you, it tears me apart." Zara manages to tell him, her voice cracking and breaking with every other word. Logan pulls her towards him and cradles her. Her silent tears quickly soak his shirt but he does not change their positions. His heart stutters in his chest and his mind bellows at him to soothe her and forget her words. The voice of his brother's thoughts, such as Hunters, protest angrily, commanding him to make her continue.

Fear of the unknown overwhelms it all and he drops his chin onto her head and holds her even tighter. Gathering strength he finally whispers. "I will make you the same promise I made Hunter. You speak and I will not react until I have heard all and thought it all through." Zara nods against him and brings her hands up to brush away her tears.

She pulls away and both allow the distance to grow between them. They stop and she gazes into his eyes. She inhales deeply. "I have known since the very beginning that you did not kill Jasiel." She pauses and waits for the anger she is sure will come. Logan tenses his jaw but refuses to react. He acknowledges her words with a stilted sound from his throat.