Love And Honour (Book 2)

Chapter XXXIX

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The horses are saddled and ready to go. Their few belongings are tucked into their saddle bags along with some feed for the horses and essentials for the two brothers. The rest of the food they will need will have to be obtained along the way by feeding off the land or bartering with the villages they pass. Hunter checks his daggers around his waist and makes sure the ones in his boots are secure and unlikely to cause him discomfort riding. His bow is attached to his horse's side and his arrows sit in a quiver on his back.

It feels strange to him to suddenly be able to return to Usani. He is not as relieved as he thought he would be. He is thankful that his brother is finally free and safe to go back to his home. Logan deserves to be back within his family. However Hunter struggles with the idea of just walking away. Too many injustices seem to have occurred. If he was actually honest with himself, though, he would admit that he did not care how the Ricells dealt with their issues. If he was honest with himself, he would admit that something else made him uncomfortable with the idea of leaving.

Hunter raises his head from fussing with his horse's buckles. Logan stands quietly by his steed, rubbing circles into its shoulder. The horse relaxes greatly under his touch but Hunter sees that no tension leaves from Logan's body. Dark circles haunt Logan's eyes. Lines span across his face, making him appear so much older than his young years. Hunter drops his gaze down before his brother can feel it. He does not want to be caught out studying his brother's weary form. It would only annoy him.

"So we are ready to return home?" Logan comments already knowing the reply.

"I do not believe we are." Hunter replies, shocking his brother. That was not the reply he expected. "You will never forgive yourself if you leave without speaking with her. You need to know whether you can forgive her or not."

Logan drops his head against the horse's shoulder. The horse turns its head and exhales warm breath against his neck before nuzzling him, short whiskers ticking his skin. "You will wait here for me?" He questions, his words mumbled and almost indecipherable.

"Where else would I go?" Logan shoots him a look of irritation.

"There are many places you could go. I do not know half of the places you vanished to during our time here. Give me a straight answer."

"I will remain right here with the horses. As soon as you return we can set off." Logan nods his head at the clear reply and trudges back in the direction of the manor. Hunter leans back against his horse, thankful that the horse does not move and have him tripping backwards.

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"Logan." She breathes out and rushes towards him. She stops with the barest of spaces between them. His stony façade is the only hindrance that stops her reaching out to him and touching his hand, his face. The space between them feels like acres not the small distance it truly is. Her eyes drop down and she shakes her head. "Have you come back to just hurt us further?"

"I never wanted either of us to be in pain." He says without warmth, without coldness. "I have forgiven more than I thought capable of in these last months but I believe I have finally met my match. What you did could have been forgiven if only you had come to me sooner but you allowed months to pass, you allowed pain and suffering to continue. I will forever live with those memories."

"Logan." She cuts his spoken thoughts short. Her jaw tightens and her face becomes controlled. Logan hates the ability she has to do that. He can do it but only through effort. Hers always appears to come naturally, a quick defence mechanism. She should not need it with him. He was not the one who destroyed them. "I already have figured this much out. You cannot forgive me, I can accept that. You may leave now knowing this guilt will never leave me."