Just A Fan: a Matthew Espinosa Fanfiction

Chapter Eight: Letter Returned to Sender

"WHAT?! Are you freaking kidding me?!" I shouted as I took the envelope and tried to throw it across the room. Obviously, I wasn't thinking very well because paper isn't easy to throw.

I was upset. I sighed and just threw myself onto my bed. I turned myself around and stuffed my head into my pillow to try to calm down. Everything around me was constantly moving. I felt sick. I couldn't concentrate. It felt like I was in a room with a thousand people who were all talking at once. I couldn't hear myself. I couldn't think of anything. My mind was blank, yet I felt an aching pain.

I screamed once more to try to get it out of my system. I honestly didn't even remember what I was upset about until I looked up from my pillow and saw my letter on the ground.

I just sat on my bed with my knees high and my head slumped in between my knees. Why did I feel like crying? Why did a letter mean so much to me? Then I remembed why...it was a letter that I absolutely poured my heart out to. I wrote everything I felt about Matthew. I guess it just tore me that he didn't get to read it.

Then at the worst time possible, my brother walked into my room. He obviously saw me tearing up and I'm pretty sure he heard me have a meltdown.

"Uhmmm...I heard you screaming from my room. Are you okay? Wait. Let me guess. Are you on your period?" My brother asked seriously, but with a joking attitude.

I was obviously not in the mood to laugh or deal with anyone at this moment. "Just leave me alone." I said as I turned and faced myself to the opposite side of the room with my back to the door. I just sat there hopefully and I heard Brandon still in the doorway.

"C'mon sis. I'm your big brother. You can tell me anything." Brandon was really pressuring me to tell him. I guess it was just his big brother attribute that urged me to tell him what was wrong.

I leaned forward and got up from my bed. I went down to pick up the abandoned letter. It tore my heart whenever I saw it. I went over to Brandon and handed him the letter. Then I just stood there awaiting for his reply. I wanted to know his reaction to it.

"Oh Jenni...I know how much you really wanted Matthew Espinosa to see this letter. I heard you from your room when you wrote it." Brandon said as he set the letter on my desk and set his arm around my shoulder. He then lead me onto the bed.

Then he continued to talk, "You see...this is what I mean. I don't want you getting your hopes up for this guy and then you be crushed when it doesn't work out."

Oh, I get it now. He was confronting me. Get ready for a lecture.

"But Brandon...you don't understand. It wasn't Matthew's fault. He had no control over it. It was the post office's fault." I rudely replied. Actually it was my fault. I should have known that it known it needed two stamps, but I mean...who sends mail nowadays? How was I suppose to know? But great. It's another talk from someone else who didn't support me.

Brandon looked at me sternly, "Look J. Life isn't always what you want. Life doesn't always turn the way you want it to be. It's tough. I understand you have a thing for this dude, but realize this, what likelyhood is he going to recognize you? One in a million. I just don't want to pick up the pieces after you're completely broken. This is only the beginning of heartbreak little sister."

I was still stubborn and very hurt. I thought about what he said, but then I realized that it was Matthew he was talking about. I believe that Matthew would never mean to hurt me.

"Well...Brandon James Waters. I'm going to tell you it right now. I will be Matthew Espinosa's one in a million. I believe it. It may just be the crazy fangirl talking, but I promise you that it will happen. You're going to be the first to hear it. I'm not giving up on Matthew...he's special. He's a real keeper." I smiled as I said it all confidently. I truly believe all that. I may be hesitant at times, but I believe it. I will never give up on this dream I have of meeting Matthew.

I guess Brandon saw the determination in my eyes, and he knew he wasn't going to change my decision.

Brandon then stood up from my bed and stood in the doorway. "Fine then. If I can't change your mind then I'll at least support you. But I was just warning you. When it happens, don't come crying to me." Brandon then smiled and said, "C'mon. Let's go find a stamp to remail that baby."

He walked out of my room and walked downstairs. I followed him to the office room to put another stamp on the letter. Then we walked to the mailbox together.

Brandon is now the brother I always wanted. Where has this guy been for eighteen years?

We finally got to the mailbox and Brandon moved out of the way and guestured towards the mailbox. "After you."

I started to slide my letter into the thin outgoing mail slot. My letter was already halfway into the slot.

Second time's a charm. Right? I really want this time to work. I have hope.

I pushed my letter entirely into the slot when it was no longer seen.

I sighed. Brandon and I started to walk back to the house. Once we got back into the house, I thanked Brandon for helping me. I then walked back to my room. I laid on my bed and took out my phone. Of course, I opened up Twitter and scrolled down. Then I stopped at a tweet that made my day better. The tweet made me completely forget about the meltdown I had earlier today.

Matthew Espinosa @TheMattEspinosa : Hi I love you guys

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Hey guys. Thanks for reading it. It means so much.

I'm sorry if the chapters aren't long enough or that eventful yet. I have a feelings this story would have a ton of chapters. LOL

Please leave comments below. I don't know if I should write longer chapters. Any opinions would be helpful.

But I love you all! - Jenni . :)