Come Back To Me

29

Bucky was slowly getting used to life here with Jamie and I. He was more relaxed around us, and didnt flinch as much when I went to touch him. Nightmares still plagued his dreams every night, but I would always be there to wake him when they began. Still, we had not heard from Steve. I had not yet told him of Bucky, because I wanted to tell him in person. Of course, I had tried to call him almost an entire week ago when Bucky first arrived, but I wasnt able to. Since then, things have been pretty quiet. Almost too quiet. Even when we werent fighting against somebody or putting ourselves in danger for innocent people, it was never this quiet. It had me suspicious. But maybe I was over thinking it. I might just be a little paranoid.

I couldn't get it off my mind while I sat at the breakfast table with Jamie and Bucky as we ate our cereal. Jamie had put on some swing music I recognized from my teen years, and I noticed the small smirk on Bucky's lips as he listened to the familiar song.  But I wasnt thinking about the song. I was thinking about the fact that if we were attacked at this vary moment, Bucky and I knew how to defend ourselves and put up a pretty challenging fight. We were trained to do so. We were practically assassins. And with the two of us, we may stand a chance at keeping Jamie safe. But it would never be enough. She was still at risk. She didnt know how to fight. She didnt have the capability of enhancing her powers enough to use it to protect herself. And with my suspicions building up, I couldn't just stand by and allow something to happen to her without giving her a fighting chance. 

"I want you to learn how to fight." I blurted out, staring over at my daughter. The sudden statement caused her eyes to grow wide and she dropped her spoon into her bowl with a clank as she froze. I could easily sense her shock and I caught Bucky out of the corner of my eye staring. He had nearly stopped chewing his food, and held still, his next spoonful hovered over the bowl as his brow furrowed. I could feel my face flush red as blood rushed into my cheeks with slight embarassment. I couldn't force her to learn if she didnt want to. That would be unfair. I shook my head and leaned back in my chair, my brows knitting together with internal frustration. I cast my eyes down at my lap and pushed away my bowl of hardly touched cereal, losing my appetite. "You... You dont have to. Forget I said anything." I mumbled.

"Mom, why did you say you wanted me to learn how to fight?" Jamie asked, he voice steady and calm. It always was when she was concerned for somebody. Anytime anyone had doubts or worries, she spoke to them with a voice as soft as silk.

"Its too quiet lately. Its making me nervous. Its never this quiet. Not when you live this sort of life." I said, glancing up at her seriously this time.

Bucky cleared his throat from beside me and shifted in his chair. "She's right.  It is too quiet." he said, looking over at Jamie. "I think something's being built up and we dont know about it yet. I would feel better if you knew how to defend yourself if we were ambushed." Bucky agreed with me.

Jamie's bright eyes flashed between looking at Bucky and I. It seemed like forever before she replied. "Then lets do it. Lets start today." she nodded, picking her spoon back up and taking another bite of breakfast. My eyes shifted over to Bucky who seemed relaxed and blissful with the situation.

"I can teach you." he offered, taking another bite of his own food. "Maybe there is something good the Winter Soldier can do for once." he mumbled, staring down at the table in shame. No matter how much I tried to tell Bucky that it wasn't his fault for what Hydra and the Winter Soldier did, he continued to blame himself. But if he thought training our daughter to fight would help, who was I to stop him? I actually loved the idea of the two of them bonding. That and, no matter how much I didn't want to admit it, he was a better fighter than I was. Each time we had battled against each other in D.C. he had won.

Jamie's features lit up at his words and a grin spread across her lips. "I would love that." she nodded in approval. Bucky nodded, his eyes turning into a stormy kind of blue as he slowly ate his food. It killed me to see him this way. I hated that Hydra made him into this. He used to be so happy, so cheerful. But he was turned into a completely different person. I still loved him, maybe even more so now after everything we have been through, but I still wasn't exactly sure what our relationship status was like. We had been engaged previously, but I was still unsure if that still was in place. Yes, we were together again, so maybe I didnt need to worry about putting a title on us. Things will all work out just fine on their own time.

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My eyes widened at the sight that was on the television. I jumped up from my place on the couch and rushed to Jamie's room where Bucky was training her. They needed to see what I had just saw. Without a warning, I burst through the door just as Bucky tossed Jamie to the floor to show her a new fight technique. Beads of sweat were evident on both of their skin, and Jamie was panting for air. "You need to see this." I warned as their focus suddenly shifted to me with worry. Without another word I swiftly turned on my heel and paced back to the living room. They followed quickly, interested in what I had to show them.

I swallowed down a lump in my throat and clenched my shaking hands into fists as I watched the television with Bucky and Jamie at my sides. All it showed was Sokovia. But it was hovering high in the air. The picture zoomed in on the city and showed the Avengers. Steve was there, battling and saving people, as well as all of the others that were there. The heading on the news channel read, 'Is this the end of the Avengers?' and I choked back a sob at the sight. Jamie grabbed the remote and turned off the t.v. before we could see anymore and I felt a warm tear slide down my cheek as my whole body trembled. I couldnt lose my brother.

A soft, warm arm draped over my shoulders and I realized it was Bucky. Struggling to hold in a sob, I turned and buried my face into his chest and hugged his torso tightly, not wanting to let go and face reality. Bucky wrapped both of his arms around my body and rested his chin on my head. "Its okay. Steve is going to be fine." he cooed.

"They're the Avengers, mom. Nothing can stop them. They will be perfectly alright." Jamie added, stepping closer and rubbing circles into my back. Maybe they were right, but how could the Avengers escape a flying city? The images on the t.v. were horrific and it looked like the Avengers werent planning on leaving. I was mad at Steve. He didnt call once, didnt listen to what I had to say, and there he was. Being a hero and risking his life like always. I needed my brother, Jamie needed her uncle, and even if it didnt seem like it, Bucky needed his best friend. I always admired Steve for his heroics, and it was what made him such a good, honorable man. But I had too much going on at once and I just didnt know how to handle it. Whatever was happening in Sokovia, I was praying that Steve would make it home safe.

AN: sorry this chapter is awful! And sorry it took so long to update again. I've been having a few personal issues to deal with lately and have been going through some dark stuff and thoughts... Anyway, I wanted to say, if you have depression, anxiety, stress, self harm issues, etc. Please dont be afraid to talk to me. I know what it's like and want nothing more than to help you. Updates may be coming slower for a little bit because Finals week is coming up soon.

Anyway, what did you guys think of the chapter? Any questions or comments? Suggestions or predictions for the future?

I love looong feedback, so please dont be a silent reader! Votes, comments, and more is always appreciated.

Xoxo