Not So Bad After All (BWWM)(EDITING)

Chapter Four

Not So Bad After All
Book One
Chapter Four
Rose's Pov
__________________

Mr. Conner gave us a great grade on our homework for yesterday. Luckily he didn't give us a homework assignment for the weekend. Most of our teachers tried not to give us homework on Fridays, because no one was completing it at one point. It was unnecessary, most teachers agreed with that, but of course, there are a few teachers that seem to take pleasure in seeing their students struggle and gave out homework anyway. I had two teachers like that last year...

"Yeah bro, we're lit tonight," Ryan said excitedly to Jayden and Brandon.

"Really?" I folded my arms and stared at him disapprovingly.

Clueless, he asked, "What I do?"

"You're hanging out with them tonight? Today is our date night, but of course, you forgot... Like always."

"Aw, poor baby," Jayden mocked and tried to pinch my cheek.

I slapped his hand away from my face and pointed a warning finger at him, "I will smack you."

He chuckled at me and leaned against the wall, turning his attention to a pretty Spanish who walked by.

"Babe the guys are throwing a party. It's gonna be lit. I Gotta go," Ryan told me.

"Ryan-"

"I totally understand if you don't wanna go. It's not really your scene anyway. We might be too lit for you," he laughed and nudged Brandon who just smiled and shook his head at his friend.

"Plus you're not invited. You'd ruin it," Jayden told me.

"How would I ruin it ass hole?"

He's so stupid... I told myself.

"Just by being there," Jayden said with a slight shrug of his shoulder.

I rolled my eyes at him, "I'm gonna need you to shut up now." Turning my attention back to Ryan who was obviously high, I said, "We're hanging at my house for a while, and then we're going to that party. And yes, I'm actually going."

"You're not coming!" Jayden raised his voice at me in annoyance.

"Yeah? Who's gonna stop me...?" I got in his face, threatening his authority, but he just silently glared down at me. "That's what I thought."

"Let's go," I told Ryan and started to walk away, but he wasn't beside me. When I looked back, he was still standing there talking to Jayden and Brandon. "Ryan! Now!" I called to him.

"Coming!" He pouted and made his way over to me.

He grabbed my hand and we left the school and drove to my house, "Your parents' home?" He asked.

"Nope," I threw my bag down and kicked my shoes off.

"For real?" He smiled as he grabbed my waist and pulled me into him.

He sat down on the couch and I got on top of him, straddling him. His hands were on my ass as we made out. I could feel his need for me growing through his pants as he started to push it against my middle. I will admit that it felt it good to be with him like this. It made me feel hot... I felt sexy... and wanted.

I wanted to have sex. All that, until after marriage, shit seemed so unrealistic to me. I didn't want to give my flower to just anyone though... I love Ryan, I'm just not completely sure if he feels the same about me. Your first time is supposed to be with someone who will at least appreciate it... I'm not sure if Ryan will, and I'm aware that guys will say anything to get some... So I will stay a virgin until I feel like I'm ready. I have fun with Ryan, but he knows I'm not going further than just touching.

_________________

"Are you done yet?" I asked Sky. "How long does it take to do makeup?"

She insisted on doing my makeup. The most I wear is eyeliner and mascara, mostly because that's all I know how to do.

Sky on the other hand was a fucking makeup Guru! She amazed me every time she did her makeup. I wished I had her skills. Truth is, I wish I was as girly as her too...

"Oh, shut up, I'm almost finished."

A moment or two went by before a question popped into my head, "Hey Sky?"

"Yeah?"

"How do you know when you're ready to have sex?"

She stopped to look at me, concern clear on her face. "Did you and Ryan do it?"

"No," I shook my head. "I just wanna know. Like, how does it feel? How do you know you love someone enough to take that next step...?" 

"Oh," she sighed and I didn't miss how relieved she looked. "I don't know... I guess you just know. Some girls don't think and just do it with whoever... But if you're smart and have a special connection with someone, you just know when the time is right. You get this funny feeling in your stomach. It's fear, trust, and a whole lot of lust and love... Definitely love... But I think you really know when your kissing that person and your whole body feels electric. You feel like if you don't have each other at that very moment, you'll die... "

I tried to think of a time when I felt like that and came up blank. Ryan didn't ignite me like that. I didn't feel so overwhelmed with passion and lust that I just had to have him sexually. That made me question whether or not I'd ever feel that way about anyone.

"Is that how you knew you were ready?" I asked her.

She sighed and laughed, but I knew that was a sad laugh, "Yeah... That's exactly how I knew I was ready. When you love someone, your heart and your body know before your mind does..."

"Have you spoken to him lately?"

"No... Not really," I hate to see her sad like this. "No offense, but your brother is an asshole."

I couldn't agree more. "He doesn't know what he's missing out on. Any guy would be lucky to have you," I told her seriously.

She smiled and hugged me, "Aw, I love you, Annnd you're all done."

She did an amazing job! My face was beat!

My outfit was pretty nice too. I wasn't the type to wear dresses and heals for everything. I liked to wear them just not all the time. So I had on a black spaghetti strap tank top and black biker shorts from fashion nova. My tank was slightly low cut and revealed more boobs than I was used to showing but I tried not to think about it.

My boobs were far from small so any kind of tank top was kind of revealing for me, but not in a slutty kind of way. My outfit was basic to say the least, but Sky assured me that we could dress it up with nice shoes and subtle jewelry. She was absolutely right!
These white and black Vans sneakers were comfortable and stylish and the gold subtle jewelry looked perfect against my brown skin.

"Damn girl, look at that booty in those shorts!" Sky yelled as I checked myself out in the mirror. "Like, seriously. Can I have your body please?"

I'm chubby for sure, overweight even, but I was somewhat okay with my body. I considered my curves to be nice. Guess I have my Mama to thank for that. My tummy wasn't super flat but it was flat enough to where I felt kind of comfortable in a crop top or anything that showed my tummy. My waist was small and I have what Sky calls an onion booty. My shape is why I prefer clothes that are bigger. I know that I should lose some weight, but it's hard.

Sky always told me that she would kill for my body and I honestly wish there was a way I could give it to her, because no matter what I wear, I still get the wrong attention... Boys and men see boobs and ass and they turn into wild animals and automatically assume that I would fuck every Tom, Dick, and Harry... Plus Ryan made it clear that he didn't like the way other guys looked at me and that I should cover up more... But tonight I really don't care. It feels good to look and feel nice for once... I don't care who stares a judges me. I'm dressing for me tonight. No one else.