Not So Bad After All (BWWM)(EDITING)

Chapter Seven

Not So Bad After All
Book One
Chapter Seven
Rose's Pov
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Sky sighed, setting her plate down. "Damn, Rose... I don't even know what to say."

I let out a bitter chuckle, poking at my food with my fork. "Yeah, me neither."

"You don't even remember what was said between you two?" she asked, tilting her head.

I shook my head. "Not really. I remember being pissed. I remember confronting him. But it's all kind of blurry after that."

Sky frowned. "That's not like you. You never drink like that."

"Well, last night I did," I muttered, rubbing my temple. "And now I feel like shit for it."

She hesitated before asking, "Do you... believe Debbie?"

I let out a deep breath. "I don't know. I mean, I don't want to. But the fact that I couldn't find him or Sara after she told me... it doesn't sit right with me."

Sky studied me for a moment before sighing. "Well, if it is true, you know what that means, right?"

I forced out a dry laugh. "Yeah. It means I wasted two years of my life on a guy who didn't deserve me."

"Exactly."

I shook my head and shoved a bite of food in my mouth, chewing slowly. I wasn't sure what hurt more—the headache or the possibility that my boyfriend had been sneaking around behind my back. Either way, it sucked.

Sky reached over and squeezed my arm. "Whatever happens, you know I got you, right?"

I managed a small smile. "Yeah, I know."

"Good," she nodded. "Now eat up and drink more water. You look like death."

"Gee, thanks," I said, rolling my eyes, but I did as she said. Right now, I needed all the strength I could get.

"Love you!"

Sky's voice followed me as I rushed to the bathroom, but I couldn't stop the overwhelming wave of embarrassment crashing over me. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it, letting out a shaky breath. My hands trembled as I turned on the shower, staring at myself in the mirror as the sound of water started filling the room. The realization of what had happened—what I'd let happen—was gnawing at me, leaving me feeling sick to my stomach.

The more I replayed Sky's words in my head, the worse it got. I'd danced sexually with Jayden. I hadn't just brushed off his usual arrogance like I always did. I allowed it. I allowed myself to enjoy it. How did I let things go that far? And with him, of all people?

I wasn't supposed to be that person. I wasn't supposed to let my guard down like that, especially with someone I couldn't stand most of the time. I thought I knew myself better than that.

I took a deep breath and stripped off my clothes, stepping into the shower. The hot water stung against my skin, but it wasn't enough to wash away the gnawing guilt. It wasn't enough to wash away the image of Jayden's hands on me, his body pressed close to mine that my imagination conjured up. That wasn't supposed to happen. Not after everything.