Cross my heart, hope to die //Tanner Braungardt//

Chapter 10

(A/N) That's my favorite picture of him😂😂

POV Kenzie

After a few hours, Quentin had to leave so it was just me and Tanner. But he had to edit the video so I decided to get some online school done.
After about an hour and a half, I got fine with one subject and moved on to the next. After a few more hours of online schooling I finally got down with the third subject and decided I would finish later that night.

A few minutes after I put my laptop away, Tanner got fine editing. So he uploaded the video, linked it in twitter and talked about it on Snapchat.

After it uploaded, he crawled into his bed with me. "Hey, what time is it?", he asks sitting up on his elbows. "Let me check", I say picking up my phone and turning it on."it's almost four", I say shutting it off again. "Okay", he says sitting up.

"Do you want to talk?", Tanner asks. "Sure",
i say turning and crossing my legs Indian style. "Okay... what was your favorite thing to do in Olympia?", he asks. "Ummmm... Going to the mall with a group of friends was always fun but the thing I loved was going swimming with my friends and having fun and doing stupid stuff. Then we'd always go back to someone's house and be teenagers. We'd order food, watch movies but we'd never really pay attention, we'd just talk and laugh and it was great.", I say smiling.

His lips turn up into a smile as he listens to me. "That sounds fun", he says. "Yeah it is-was", I say catching myself. "You miss Olympia don't you?", He asks. "Yeah. I've lived there my whole life. And to just move, made me really sad", I sat looking up at Tanner. "You don't seem sad though", he says tilting his head slightly and pushing his eyebrows together. I nod. "I've always been good at hiding my feeling. I just push them aside and act happy. One of my friends a while ago even said, I don't seem like the sad type.", I say smiling remembering the memory. But obviously I didn't tell him what really happened.

***

Me and my friend Mekala had gym together and she saw my cuts. We had our hands on the ground and legs on the wall. "Kenzie your arm", she says noticing my cuts. Oh god no. I try my best to turn it away but it doesn't work.

The horn blows signaling us to move to the next station. I get down from the wall, Mekala right beside me. "I'm guessing I'm gunna have to tell you why", I say jogging to the next corner. "Definitely", she says. I sigh. "Well it's a long story so I'll shorten it up", I say and the horn blows again.

I jog to the the station which are wall sits. "I'm depressed", I say. "But you always seem so happy", she says looking worried. I sigh again. That what everyone thinks.

***

"I see", Tanner says nodding. "Yeah", I whisper. "Can I try something", Tanner asks bitting his lip. I nod. He leans forward, glancing at my lips. His hand goes up to my cheek and I put mine on the back of his neck.

He presses his lips to mine and the breathe that I didn't realize I was holding, goes into the kiss. Tanners other hand snags my waist and pulls me closer.

Why am I doing this? I don't want to lead him on. I'll just end up getting hurt in the end. God Mackenzie, just stop! Pull away gosh darn it!

But I can't. It's like my body, not to mention heart, is screaming for me to keep kissing him but my head is yelling at me to stop. To pull away. To end this. But my body is definitely winning.

He pulls me into his lap then I put one of my hands on his cheek. We pull away from each other breathless, "I've been wanting to do that for so long", Tanner says smiling. My eyes flutter open and I'm greeted by his blue eyes.

I bite my lip then smile. "Why didn't you do it sooner?", I say. Oh my god Kenzie. Please stop me cause I can't seem to stop myself. But then again, I don't want to. YES YOU DO UUUUGG.

His finger traces my jaw line and then the gosh darn butterfly's start flapping in my stomach. I resist the edge to shiver. "Your so beautiful",
He whispers cupping my face with his hands. I smile, a blush covering my cheeks. I look down and scrunch my eyebrows together.

What's gunna happens when he finds out? He's gunna hate me, resent me, and I'll loose him. And I don't want to loose him. Your probably thinking, Kenzie, he could be different. Well some of the sweetest boys could turn on you in a second. Trust me.

Besides, he shouldn't want me. I'm ugly. He's just trying to make me feel better about myself.

I look back up at him. "Thank you", I say. But he can't know. He has to believe I actually like myself. I wonder how hard that's gunna be.

He smiles and leans back in. But just then my phone starts ringing. I sigh and pick it up. It's my mom. "Hello?", I say into the phone. "Hey Kenzie. I want you to come back home in the next thirty minutes. Okay?", she says. "Okay, see you then", I say hanging up. I turn back to Tanner. "My mom wants me home", I say sighing.

He frowns "okay", he says nodding. I get off him and start packing. Once I'm all ready, I slip on my shoes and we head out. "Thanks for letting me stay over", I say as we drive to my house. "No problem. Your welcomed anytime", he says.

Soon we get to my house and I unbuckle. Tanner grabs my arm and I look back at him. He leans forward and kisses me gently. I smile I go the kiss then we pull away. "Bye", he says smiling. "Bye", I reply getting out, grabbing my stuff and walking up to my house.

I close the door and smile. He kissed me. Twice!!! "I'm home", I yell. "Hi honey!", my mom shouts from somewhere in the house. I walk upstairs and into my room. I set my bag down and lay on my bed.

I should probably make a video. I'll just do a Q&A. Haven't done one of those in a while. I set up my camera in my tripod then go on my twitter and tweet for my followers to give me questions.

I wait about thirty minuets, I watch bones to pass the time, then I start the video. "Hey guess I am back. And if you are new, I'm Kenzie  please subscribe I swear I'm not a psychopath. Maybe. Any who, today I'm gunna be doing a Q&A. So let's get into it.", I say before staring.

***

After recording, I edit the video and post it. I shut my laptop and lie down on my bed. Oh no
Please no. That sick feeling is coming back. I dig through my purse and find what I'm looking for. My blades.

I take the blade out from the inside and go into the bathroom. I pull down my pants and swipe it across my skin a few times. Next I go to my stomach. I lift up my shirt up and drag the blade across my stomach.

Maybe if i cut enough maybe I'll actually start to like myself. Who's knows.

(A/N) hey guys! Sorry I updated to late but I wanted to get something out to you. I hope you liked it and if you guys want, I'll add in more romance. Just let me know by commenting. Okay so I don't know when I'll be updating cause I started school again so I'll be pretty busy. Okay well that's basically all, don't forget to vote, comment, and add my story. It would mean the world to me! And don't forget I have other story's too! Okay well that's all for now, bye my loves!💜