Cross my heart, hope to die //Tanner Braungardt//

Chapter 24

POV Kenzie

The next day, we met up with Hazel. We hung out for a few hours before she had to go home and do a few things. So me, Grace and Abby went home. Buuuut me and Abby got side tracked and went into a book store. I picked out a few and Abby insisted on paying, she said it was a gift. So I allowed it. Then we went home.

***

"Ya know, boys are stupid", Grace says eating another chip. "I know", I say rolling my eyes. "Grace! Hush! She just broke up with her boyfriend" Abby says punching Grace on the arm. I snort and stifle a laugh as Grace cried out in pain. "Ow!" She exclaims looking at Abby. She smiles innocently and looks at me.

"When are you going home?", she asks. "My mom wants me home tomorrow so I bought a ticket. My plane leaves at 8", I say and Abby nods. "I'll go tell my mom", she says getting up from the couch and running upstairs.

"How are you gunna handle seeing Tanner" Grace asks. "I'm not going to see him" I say laughing. She frowns then nods. "I'm not ready to see the guy that tore my heart into a million pieces." I say looking at my hands. "And that's okay. You don't need to see him until you are ready. You're perfectly fine on your own without him" she says smiling. I grin weakly and lean into hug embrace. She wraps her arms around me and snuggle my head into her chest.

"I miss him" I say sniffling. "I know. But be strong. You do not need him" she insists, rubbing my back. "That doesn't mean I miss him any less" I mumble. Grace nods above me and I lay my head in her lap. She runs her hands through my hair. "You need another shower", she says laughing. "I know", I say sitting up. "Can you get me towels?", I ask. She nods and we head upstairs. She goes off to find towels and I head into the bathroom. I take off my shirt and sweats, leaving me in my bra and underwear, and look at myself in the mirror.

My bags are clearly visible, and my face lost some fat. My cheekbones are hallow. The color in my face has drained and now it looks partially gray. I turn to the side and run my hand over my stomach. It's flat without me having to suck in. My arms have lost most of its muscle, same with my thighs. At least I don't look like a total anorexic girl. But you can see my ribs. All of this is because I haven't been eating much lately. The cuts on my thighs have almost faded from scabs to scars. Same with my wrists.

I turn around and look at my back. I bend forward a bit and my spine pops out. I turn back around and examine my collar bone. It's clearly visible. My hair stops just below my ribs. Bug it doesn't look healthy. It's lost it's healthy looking glow and looks darker than it's normal blonde look. I frown at myself in the mirror. This isn't the me I'm used too.

I grab my phone off the counter and take a few pictures. One of the front side of me in the mirror, one of my side and lastly, my back. I set my phone down just as Grace walks in. She stares at me and worry overcomes her face. She sets the towels down on counter and places her hands on my arms. "Kenzie..." she whispers looking at my body. "You're..." she trails off. "Disgusting" I finishing her sentence. "No. You look like you need help." she says. "You look at least 15 pounds under weight" she says examining my body.

Then it all hits me, like running into a brick wall. "I guess this what the breakup did to me." I whisper, walking away to turn on the water. I take off my bra and underwear before getting. The warm water feels so good. But I hear the door close and I know Grace left.

Soft sobs coming from outside the bathroom door and my head falls. I didn't know that I would have that much of an affect on her. I feel terrible. I love her so much and I hate to see her in pain.

***

The next morning, I put on a pair of leggings and a shirt that says fries before guys along with a maroon sweatshirt. For shoes, I pull on my tan Uggs then brush out my long hair, leaving it down. Grace and Abby help me pack up my stuff. Then I get my phone off it's charger and post a picture off all my friend on Instagram captioning it with "had an amazing time seeing these amazing people! But I have to go home🙁"

I shove my phone in my sweatshirt pocket then grab my things and head downstairs. I hug Graces mom goodbye and Abby drives me to the airport. Grace and I are in the back seat, not talking but just enjoying each other's presence. Soon enough, we're at the airport and Grace is tearing up.

"I'll see you soon okay?" I say hugging her. She nods "I love you Kenzie" she whispers. "I love you too Grace", I let go off her. "And I love you Abby." I say hugging her. "Love you Babe" she says squeezing me. We pull away from each other and I grab my suitcase.

They stand there until I can't see them. I let out a breathe I didn't realize I was holding. Okay Kenzie. You did this once. And you can do it again. Be a big girl and get on the gosh darn plane.

***

As soon as the plane lands, I'm itching to get off of it. After what seems like forever, I get through customs and see my mom waiting for me. I approach her and she gives me a hug before taking my suitcase. "You're so skinny" she says frowning. I nod and we head to the car. "I haven't been eating much lately" I reply shrugging. "And have you been sleeping?" she asks. I shake my head. "I think we should put you back on antidepressants." she says looking over at me with a worried expression. My eyes widen. "No! It gave me a horrible rash." I exclaim as we put my things in her car.

"Okay. Just promise me you'll start eating and sleeping." she says looking at me. "I promise."

Soon we get to my house and I drag my things upstairs and flop down on my bed. I'm honestly so tired. I think I'm gunna take a nap. I set my phone on my desk, kick off my shoes and get under her covers and dive into a dreamless sleep.

I awake to a freaking rigging. I don't have school so I think it's my phone BEING A HOE AND WAKING ME UP. Anyways, I grab my phone and realize Quentin is calling me. "Hello" I say answering it. "Hey Kenzie. Would you mind meeting up with me so we can talk about what happened" he asks. "Did Tanner make you do this?" I ask rubbing my eyes.

"He asked and I agreed. He won't be there I promise. It will just be you and me." he says. I sigh and sit up. "Sure why not." I say throwing my arm in the air. "Okay. How about at that one coffee shop I showed you, in twenty?", he asks. "Kay. See you then." I hang up.

I set my phone down and walk over to my dresser and put on a pair on jeans. Then I get on my black converse and leave on my sweatshirt. I quickly apply some brown mascara and brush through my hair before brushing my teeth as well. Then I grab my phone and purse before going downstairs. "Mom I'm going to meet a friend." I call out opening the front door. "Okay have fun." she yells back. I walk out to my car and get in.

Next I drive the coffee shop wear Quentin is waiting. I park then get out. Quentin looks up and sees me. We meet in the middle and he embraces me in a hug. "I am so sorry for what Tanner did." he says. I put his back. Did Tanner tell him that I cut?

He pulls away from me to study my face. "You look different." he says squinting his eyes at me. "Yeah. I haven't been eating much. And don't get me started on sleeping." I say looking into the windows in the coffee shop. "I can tell." he says. "Let's sit down here." he says pointing at the table that's a little out off view from the window.

I nod and sling my purse on the back side of the chair. A lady with red curly hair comes out of the shop and walks up to us. "What can I get you?" she asks happily. "I'll have a coffee with creamer on the side." Quentin says. "Alright. And why about you?" She turns to me. "A Chi Tea." I say. She nods "I'll be right back with those", she says smiling and walking away.

"So did Tanner tell you about me?" I ask. "No but he told me what he said. He's feels horrible about it. He said it's your secret to tell." Quentin explains. My heart warms. Oh my god stop it. He hurt you. "I don't know what to say, except that he hurt me. That secret cost me a lot of people." I say raising my eyebrows. The lady with curly hair comes out holding two coffee cups and sets them in front of us. "There you go. Let me know if I can do anything else for y'all." she says turning around and walking back inside. The wind blow against is and I pull at my sweatshirt.

"I promise, I will not judge you. I've never been like that." he says reaching out to touch my hand. I nod. "Well it's kind of a long story." I say swirling my tea around with the straw. "I've got time." he smiles. I nod and take a deep breathe. Well here goes nothing.

(A/N) Hey guys!! Omg... three chapters in a week! *victory air pump thingy*. Yeah that just happened. Anyways, I'm going to a friends house this weekend and I'll try to write and get a chapter done for next week. That's about all. So don't forgot to vote, comment and add this book! It would mean so much to me! Okay that's all, bye for now my loves!!💜