Cross my heart, hope to die //Tanner Braungardt//

Chapter 13

POV Kenzie

"Really?", I say throwing my phone on my bed. I roll over facing the wall and my lip starts trembling. I moved to another freaking state and I'm still being harassed by people. This girl has been bullying me for so long now. Why does it give people satisfaction to see others in pain? That's something I've never understood about her. She's a bully, she's a hater, she's so much more than that actually. She is the kind of person that would tell someone to commit suicide and mean it. She's just that bad.

After a few weeks of not getting anything from her I thought it would stop. But I was so wrong. Today I got a text from her saying, I've seen ur posts about that boy. He'll never like you. He's to hot for you. And your to ugly. like have u seen urself? Ur fat, ugly and so much more. I just don't have time to say it all. Btw have him call me. I would be a much better match for him.

Tears fall down my face and I curl into a ball, rocking myself back and forth. I hate my life. I hate everything about it. I hate me too. I want to go back to when I was happy and didn't have to cut to be. I want to be the kind of girl who isn't afraid to check her phone every morning to see if they have another text from their bully. I want to be the kind of girl who is confident about herself. I want to be the girl who gets all the guys. But I'm not. I guess I'll always broken.

Tears stream down my face and I let out a sob. Why me. Why does everything like this happen to me. I hate me! I want to be a completely different person! I want to be someone else! But I can't. And I don't know how much longer I'll be able to be myself without... well you know, dying.

***

It's been another month sense the text message from my bully and mine and Tanners date. After Tanner told me I was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, we talked for more then an hour. Then he took my home and gave me a goodnight kiss.

We've gotten so close over these last couple months and we basically know everything about each other. Well he doesn't know everything about me... but anyways back to the story.

***

"Aaaaaand done", I say pressing the button to upload my video. "Finally I thought I would die before you finished editing", Tanner says rolling over on my bed. I smile. We decided to change things up a bit and hang out at my house. We have hung out here multiple times but we always go to Tanner house. For some reason I feel more comfortable there. We've also had multiple sleepovers sense I've gotten here too.

Now I've been able to drive to his house because my car finally got to my house from coming over seas. But we mostly just sung at his house.

"Shut up. I don't take that long", I say shoving his shoulder. He smiles and sits up strait again. "You usually take more time then me when I edit", he says. "That just means I'm taking more time to make sure the video is good", I say pointing my finger at him. "Lets go down stairs and watch a movie", I say getting up and grabbing my phone if it's charger. "K. Lets go down", he says getting up off my bed. I stand up and stretch my arms above my head, my hair tickling my lower back.

My arms lower and i feel a pressure against my waist. Tanner presses his chin against my shoulder and strokes my hair with on of his hands. "Has anyone ever told you that your hair is beautiful", he whispers putting his hand on my shoulder. I shake my head and smile. "Then I should tell you more often", he says stroking my arm. "Come one. Let's go", I say grabbing his hand and tugging him down stairs.

"My parents aren't home so we can watch whatever we want", I say sitting on the couch pulling a blanket over me. Tanner jumps over the couch and sits next to me, pulling some of the blanket away. I smile and he puts an arm around my shoulders. Tanner grabs the remote off the table and hands it to me. My fingers move around it and clock the on button. We browse Netflix for a while before finding Cyberbully. After I convinced him to watch it, I clicked play and snuggled into his side.

***

"Why do you like that movie? It's so sad", Tanner says looking down at me half smiling. "That's exactly why I like it! Besides it's a good movie", I say flicking popcorn, that I made halfway through the love, at his face. He catches it in his mouth and eats it. "Still, it's so sad. And why would her friends do that to her? It's just wrong", he says and I get up, taking the bowl of popcorn to the kitchen. "I know but still. I like it. You don't have to watch it again", I say throwing the leftovers away. "I'm not. Cause it's sad", he stays leaning against the island.

"I see your point. But I like it so", I say rolling my eyes at him and smiling. "Actually I changed my mind. If you want me to watch it again with you some other time, I will", he says walking over to me. "Well isn't that sweet", I say wrapping my arms around his neck. His hands snake around my waist and he pulls me into a hug. I think I actually am falling for him. But I can't. But I don't want to ruin our friendship. So many buts. So many cants. So many don'ts. Why am I so negative? Oh that's right. I'm depressed and self harm.

But with him, I feel happy. What should i do?

(A/N) hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been so busy and to be honest, I've had no inspiration to write. But tonight I had a ton of thoughts and needed to let out stress so i decided to write. I hope you guys liked this koster and sorry it's a little short! I just wanted to get something to you guys! Okay I just waned to say really quick, thank you all so much for almost 600 reads! I'm so happy and I know this book will just keep growing with your guys help! Please don't forget to vote comment and add this book! I have other books too if you want to check those out! It could mean the world to me! Okay bye for now my loves!💜