Chapter 35- I Will Find You

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Here's the next chapter, enjoy!

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"Do you see them?" She whispered reverently, her eyes so teary they were sparkling.

Her hands were clenched in tight fists, fists that had defended me since the day I had known her. She looked sad and full of longing, but I didn't point this out because I think it had something to do with the sky. And how they were filled with fireflies. And the way their light kept bathing us in its warm glow.

She seemed to love it as much as it hurt her.

"I do see it, sensei." I said quietly to Molly, gazing with her as we watched the golden cloud of fireflies pass over us and the way they perched over several trees, dancing in the wind. It was like they were performing for us, and they were happy to do it.

"My parents taught me to watch them. Whenever I thought the world was too cruel, they wanted me to see it wasn't the world that was cruel. It was the people. I thought that was just as bad, but..." She broke off, her voice so full of emotion. She turned to me, smiling softly.

"They wanted me to know that cruelty can change. Since people can change all the time if they wanted to. If they really wanted to." She said and I made myself absorb every word because this was important to her. My sensei was opening up to me.

I'm so sorry for your loss, sensei.

"I hope the rest of the world will see this one day. Because even if there is one who does nothing but hurt, there is a small chance that person can change. There is always something. They just don't want to see it."

She turned to me again, her eyes full and powerful.

"Do you understand, Saya?"

I glanced at the night sky one more time, overwhelmed by what she was trying to say and hoping somehow, someday, I would understand it. All the people I had ever known since my childhood were cruel. Except Molly.

I pursed my lips, and hesitantly answered.

"Yes, sensei."

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Damn it.

I opened my eyes as soon as I could, jolting like someone had hit me with lightning. I was awake. And I was so angry I had let this happen.

I was a coward.

I felt a head rush shudder through me and I held still for a moment in the bed I found myself in. The vertigo came and went, and I stumbled to my feet, desperate to move, to know. All this time I had wasted. My sensei finally came back to me and I had not been there to receive her.

I've wasted so much time.

I shoved the door leading out of the room open with hands that felt too big. I finally realized I was in his apartment. Kakashi's apartment. I decided in that moment to not even think about all that had happened between us in the moments I was gone. Technically, though, I hadn't been gone and that was what made me embarrassed. What I had done was improper and very imposing on him.

Pathetic. Why're you thinking about this right now?

I flushed and kept moving, seeking an exit. My legs were still heavy with something I couldn't shake off, and for some reason, my eyes were blurry and warm.

The memories of what I had missed, of what I hadn't been there for and yet had been, were slowly moving through my mind. They didn't strike me all at once. They painfully and slowly replayed one by one and I cursed myself again. This was my fault.

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