thinking ⎈ yoonmin (completed)

eighteen

it may hurt now, but if you think about it too much, it'll only hurt even worse

•

jimin;

yoongi broke down in front of me, causing tears to fall down my own face. without hesitation, i wrap my arms around him and rub his back for comfort.

"i-i'm so sorry you had to go through that, hyung. no one s-should ever have to go through that," i whisper, running my fingers through his strawberry-colored hair.

"j-jimin?" he mutters, looking up at my face with glossy eyes.

"yeah yoongi hyung?" i ask, still playing with his hair in a soothing manner.

"n-never leave me," he says, laying his head down onto my lap.

"i won't hyung. believe me, i won't even think about it," my fingers massage his scalp as my other hand continues to rub up and down his lower back.

"good. because now i feel attached and i-i can't lose anyone else," he explains.

"you don't have to worry, yoongi. i'll never leave you, ever," i promise. he nods, finding interest in the frayed ends on the hole in my jeans.

"jimin?"

"yeah hyung?"

"have you ever been in love?" he asks, causing me to pause my movements.

"n-no, i haven't, necessarily," i answer.

"i have. don't do it, jimin, it hurts," he says.

"well, that just depends on the situation, hyung. it doesn't hurt to love your mom, does it?" he shakes his head no, "does it hurt when you miss her?" i question.

"sometimes," he responds.

"and i can't imagine it hurt to love hoseok, did it? it only hurt when he left, right?" i ask.

"it didn't hurt then, no. but jimin," he sits up, "you don't understand, i never stopped loving him. i still love him no matter what, but it physically hurts me to hear his name. if you're so keen on the idea that loving someone never hurts, then i don't know what you're on."

"yoongi, i think you misread my examples. i said it depends on the situation," he looks at me with his big eyes. "of course now it hurts to love him, only because you know he's gone. but i promise you, hyung, you'll see him again one day. and when you do, all that pain will vanish because he's not gone anymore."

"but jimin, i'm just scared," he says. "what if i fall in love again and they leave me too? will i just have to live in pain for the rest of my life?"

"some people do, yoongi. but that's life. honestly, i think it hurts worse never loving someone rather than actually doing so," i shrug. "and hyung, at least you have me and taehyung, right? we're your friends, right?"

"y-yeah," he replies. "never leave me," he says again, pleading this time.

"i already told you i wouldn't," i smile, leaning in and kissing the side of his head. "you shouldn't let it get to you. it may hurt, but if you think about it too much, it'll only be worse."

"thank you jimin. really, i needed all of that," he says with a small smile.

"it's no problem, yoongi. anything for my favorite hyung," i hug him.

"yeah yeah, whatever. now let me go so i can order lunch," he says. "you want something?" he asks, freeing himself from my embrace. i nod. "how's chicken sound?"

"uh, i was thinking more along the lines of meat..."

"well chicken is meat, right?" he smirks.

"just go order it you dumbass," i laugh.

"look who's talking!" he calls out from the other room.

"shut up!" i whine.

"never," he replies.

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a/n: happy happy

it feels like it's been forever since i updated but,, it's been 9 days

also idk if any of what jimin said about pain and love makes sense but just roll with it