Chap.4 "Did you sleep with him or something"

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Chap. 4 "Did You Sleep With Him or Something" 

Last chapter:  The rest of the night was a blur and I can't remember much from that night. I fell into a comfortable bed and snuggled into some warmth. I let my eyes drift asleep as a familiar smell surrounded me. 

Dear Journal,

The pounding inside my head woke me up and I grimaced as the sun beamed into the room. I tried to bury myself farther into bed but it felt much different than any bed I've ever slept in. As my vision became clearer I realized the cozy bed I was cuddled into was actually Sean's chest. Immediately my instinct was to move and get up but I looked up saw Sean soundly asleep and I let my body relax again. He had day old stubble growing in and his curls were strewn everywhere.

I knew Sean obviously wanted to more than just friends, but did he wanna just sleep with me or something more. But either this was, didn't matter. I always thought I could never be in a relationship, at least not a real one. He didn't even know the real me, this was all a facade. I didn't even think I deserved to be with anyone. I can kill someone in seconds and not even feel an ounce of remorse. I never deserved to be with someone like him. 

I needed to get out of his room and I was suddenly very aware of my body against his. I was laying on my side against him and his arm was right behind me. I tried to sit up but caused him to turn over on his side and pull me closer so that our bodies are pressed against each other. I was practically naked on top of him and I couldn't get up.  I closed my eyes and enjoyed the warm skin to skin contact. And, the way he still smelled like mint from his cologne he used last night. Before I knew I began to drift off. 'It's okay right?' I thought.  'This isn't my choice, I'm trapped... right?'

 right?'

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When I woke up again I was alone in the bed. My body slightly craved the warmth again but I sat up and climbed out of bed. I looked around the room and found one of his shirts thrown carelessly on the floor. For a second I wondered if I had sex with Sean last night but the sound of the shower turning off broke my train of thought. Why did I have to throw my things everywhere? I could hear Sean step out the shower and panic coursed through my veins. I gave up trying to find all my things and head out but the bathroom door opened at the same time. 

My hand was on the handle when I heard him say, 

"Leaving so soon Thea" 

"Shit" I whispered and turned around smiling. He was only in a towel and using another one to dry his hair. Even as a highly trained assassin it was hard to keep the self control not to look down at all. 

 

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