#Online•jdb

8• Insecurities

Note: this chapter's title is titled after Justin's unreleased song (which has only been performed live), "Insecurities"
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• C H A R L O T T E •

Justin
He said I'd think you're cute

I couldn't get over it. I read it. I re-read it. I re-re-read it. I know the likelihood of it meaning as much as I'm making it out to be is next to nothing but it still got me smiling like a fool. But, nevertheless, I disagreed with Scooter.

Char
I doubt it 🙊🙈

Justin
When I find your Instagram, I'll see. But I'm sure Scooter is right. He knows me well

Char
Compared to your past girlfriends and stuff, I can safely say I doubt Scooter is right

Justin
Don't compare yourself ❤️

Justin
You're probably beautiful and you don't even know it

My eyes welled with salty fresh tears. They ached. They burned. They felt hot against my cheeks as they crawled down towards my jawline. I had never felt comfortable in my own skin. It's always felt like a bad outfit I can't ever take off. And even though Justin just said that, I can't believe it. Firstly because he hasn't seen how I look and secondly because, even if he had, he was just being polite. I know I'm not beautiful. I'm not searching for attention, I'm just being honest. In actuality, I prefer not receiving attention because, as you saw this afternoon, I clam up and turn into a spastic weirdo when attention is shone upon me. The challenge now was how to respond to Justin. I don't really want to get into my insecurities list, especially not with him, so I'll just let it slide.

Char
Thanks

I hope he drops the topic completely now.

Justin
What's your last name?

Okay so that's one way of dropping the topic completely.

Char
Why?

Why am I so paranoid?

Justin
I'm trying to find your Instagram

Char
No, no clues

Justin
😐 how am I supposed to find it then?

Char
It's called a "challenge" for a reason

Read

No response.

Okay?

5 minutes passed.

Then 10.

Then 20.

And then 2 hours passed.

Justin is calling...

My eyes widened and I froze. Do I answer? Why is he calling? Why? I'm so awkward over the phone. This is a bad idea. I hate my voice. I can't answer. Why is he calling me? Suddenly, the call ended and I felt myself instantly relax.