55• ?"Scared To Be Lonely"?

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Note: Prepare yourselves. This one's gonna be a rollercoaster... 🎢😉
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12 November 2017




22:12pm




Justin
Hey, Char. I'll be there in a day or so. Do you still want me to?




Char
Yeah. I think so. Yes.





"So he's really coming here?"

I turned around and Vi was standing behind me with her arms crossed over her chest. I was sitting on the large couch in the open-plan living area. I had been sitting there for about three hours, beyond anxious about Justin coming here.

"Yeah."

"Why did you invite him? Really?" Vi sighed, walked around the couch and sat next to me.

I sighed. The thought of trying to explain the obvious to Vi made me instantly feel tired.

"I told you. I miss him. You guys don't get it. Being away from him has been so hard. Yes it hurt when he told me about him and Lola but that doesn't mean I just stopped loving him. I love him. It would be easier if I didn't. But I do," I looked down. I hated talking about this.

"I don't understand it. I'm sorry, C. I just feel like he doesn't deserve you. I'm worried that your feelings are blinding you to the reality of the kind of person he is."

"Don't you think it's down to me to decide whether or not he should be in my life? I get that you care, but making me feel like a failure for being in love with him... it doesn't help the situation," I fiddled with my fingers.

"I didn't mean to make you feel like that," she looked at me, "I can't promise I'm gonna be nice to him."

I nodded. I didn't have any more to say on the matter. It was pretty clear to my friends how I felt and if that's not enough to convince Vi, then I can't exactly force her to accept it.






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Later, we all chilled poolside. There was a cutting tension in the air though. I felt awful. I felt like I was ruining everyone's vacation vibes. No one really wanted to talk to me about much because of some fear of kicking off another outburst from the 'Pro-Justin' and 'Anti-Justin' sides of our squad. I hated this. I had a feeling it wouldn't get any better once he was here, but at least the pain of missing his presence would be subsided. Hopefully.





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