[MJ Fanfiction] Collide

CHAPTER TWO - GUILT

I stayed there, sitting on the couch next to my grandmother, with tears in my eyes all over again. It seemed so much like deja vu. Whenever I had a breakdown, I ran to her, the only person I had left in the world. When you're alone, the world feels so cold, and you don't know if you're going to make it through the next day. If I didn't have her, I don't know where I would be. She saved me from an uncertain future, she encouraged me when I needed support, she listened to all of my misery without ever complaining while she lost her child, my father.

"Everyday, I pray to God that one day you'll be able to live just as anybody else."

"There ain't no God, Grams," I shook my head from side to side, and wiped the tears from under my tired eyes. "If he existed, why would he let mom and dad die? Why didn't he stop these rubbers from getting into our house?"

"He had His reasons, Hayley."

"Maybe he thought I could protect them? With that so precious gift he gave me?" I sarcastically asked, getting upset. "Well I used the damn gift, but it was useless! All I did was pushing them to their death."

"Stop saying that, honey!"

"But Grams, you need to accept the damn truth when it's just before your eyes! If mom and dad would have stayed home instead of listening to my dumb psychotic ass, they would still be—"

"Hayley Katherine Thames!" my grandmother scolded loudly, cutting me off in my venting. "I've been hearing the same speech for years, and every single time we come to same damn conclusion!"

Silence fell upon us. My grandmother sighed heavily, and stood up from her comfy armchair to come sit next to me on the couch. I turned my knees in her direction, and she took my hands in hers, putting them on her lap.

"You saw what would happen before it even happened. All you were trying to do was help them. At the time, you didn't know how powerful your gift was, and you certainly didn't know what to do with it."

"And nothing's changed, I'm older, but I still don't know what to do with it," I shook my head, and looked down at my lap. "I could have helped them. I could have called the police."

"To tell them what? That you saw what would happen to your parents? That you saw they'd be murdered by two robbers? You know you couldn't tell them that. You did nothing wrong, Hayley."

"Yeah," I sighed, and stood up from the couch. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, and took my jacket. "I should take some rest. I'll see you around, Grams."

"Honey," she sighed, as she stood up from the couch with difficulty. "Please, take your life back. You can see the future, but still all you can focus on is the past. You should live your life to its best. This is what Katherine and Rupert would want you to do."

I looked down for a split second, and approached my grandmother to lay a kiss on her forehead again, "I'll call you later," I said, and left the living room.