[MJ Fanfiction] Collide

CHAPTER THIRTY SEVEN - BUTTERFLIES

A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait, guys! I've been through the most annoying writer's block lately. But I'm back, though! I hope you'll like this chapter!

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March 14th 1991

Dear Diary,

I don't know what I am doing here, or why I stopped by on my way to Neverland. I battled with myself for days, wondering if whether it was a good idea for me to come here or not. What am I even looking for? I don't even know what the hell I am doing here. I feel like a creepy stalker, waiting in my car for Hayden to come out of his house. I don't even know what I am supposed to tell him. I can't just say "hey, I think you might be my brother. Wanna talk?". I can't show up like this. I'm still shaken up by the possibility that, maybe, my parents hid the fact that I had a brother. That would explain Grams' reluctance for me to meet him, and why she said he belonged to the past. Is she trying to make sure I never meet him because he is my father's illegitimate child? Did my father cheat on my mother and got a woman pregnant? Or is he my parents' son? We share the same name, after all.

I have so many questions, and it's killing me.

I closed my diary loudly, and huffed in frustration. I carelessly put the book on the passenger's seat, and started the ignition again. As if he sensed it, Hayden came out of the house, the little boy from the pictures holding his hand tightly, almost dragging him to the car. I opened my window a bit to try to hear the sound of his voice, and kept on watching their every move.

"Dad, we're going to be late, come on!"

"I know, I'm sorry I slept in Andy," his father apologized sincerely, rubbing his temple with his other hand. "Come on, hop in the car," Hayden told his son, opening the back door for him.

He closed the door and looked in my direction, which caused me to sink deeper in my seat so that he wouldn't see my face. I cursed myself out in the process. I knew this was all a bad idea to come here, considering the fact that I wasn't near ready to meet the person I suspected to be my brother.

I was reluctant at the idea to look back in his direction because I was afraid he would still be staring. I did eventually after some long, awkward seconds, only to see the car drive away. I sighed in relief, and put my head on the head rest. I needed a minute to pull myself together, so I closed my eyes and focused on the one thing that was able to put my mind at ease. The more days went by, the more the moment I got to see Michael again was near. I couldn't wait to be able to be with him again, for I needed him to tell me that everything would be just fine, that I needed to take the time I needed to make a decision. He always had the right words to make me feel better, instantly.