[MJ Fanfiction] Collide

CHAPTER TWENY-ONE - TRUCE

I returned to the party after I hung up with Michael, and of course the same feeling invaded me. It became a kind of habit now, to feel empty whenever I had to leave him. I wasn't completely comfortable with the idea of him taking this much place into my life, but I couldn't help it. The more I tried to push him out of my thoughts, the more I was hurting. Whenever I dared thinking about the possibility of him walking out of my life, shivers appeared on my entire body, and a weird feeling settled in my stomach, like I was going to be sick. Was the feeling here to stay? I couldn't know, of course, but it scared me to have someone like him in my life again. Someone I deeply cared for and who I feared to lose.

Ever since John left me, it had been hard for me to let people in again. I was frightened at the idea to feel the same way I felt after John left. This feeling of abandon, of being played. It's like he took my love and feelings, and threw them at me with a huge smile on his face. I expected him to have a hard time coping with the news, but that he would eventually accept it, but he never coped with it.

This is why I was frightened to see that Michael was taking this many room in my life, and most importantly, in my mind. But I couldn't control it, no matter how hard I tired to. It was impossible for me not to think about him, for random images would pop up in my head or voices would come to my mind against my will, at any time of the day. All of this seemed to be triggered by things I'd hear unconsciously, something I'd touch or lay my eyes on. It's like my senses were the key to my visions.

As I was waiting outside for Carl to come down and take us back home, I noticed Mrs. Northman in the distance, putting the kids in the car. I pushed my thoughts aside, and called after her. She turned around in a swift motion, and a smile appeared on her face when she realized I was walking towards her.

"Dr. Thames," she sighed happily, "I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for Charlie," she sincerely told me, rubbing my shoulder gently. "Thank you. This means so much for him."

"It was my pleasure," I smiled, as Charlie's little brother started to get fussy in the child seat. "Someone looks agitated, huh?"

"Yes, Jamal wanted his big brother to come home, but he'll have to wait a couple of days more," she said, as she rubbed her son's hair gently, which made him even more angry. "I should probably go, he must be tired, his bedtime was two hours ago."

"You have a safe trip back home, alright?" I asked, and she just nodded with a smile, closing the back door. "I'll see you tomorrow," I smiled back.

"Oh, Hayley?" Charlie's mother called after me, and I turned around to look back at her. "If you have the chance to, would you thank Mr. Jackson again for what he did? I don't know if you have any means to contact him, but I'd like him to know how thankful we are."

"I did tell him already, but I will again if I have the chance to," I nodded, smiling slightly.

Of course I'd have the chance to thank him again, as I was seeing him during the weekend. I didn't want anybody to know, though. From what I understood Michael cherished his privacy more than anything else, so I wasn't going to jeopardize it.