17: Still The Same

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Kate and castle break up and then one night the run into each other and go back to beckett's place to "catch up" and talk and then they fight and reach through to each other.

•••

Life goes fast
It's been a while, I have to ask
Where have you been? How did that feel?
Where are we now? 'Cause that's what's real, yeah

All the space and the time between us
Man, you should have seen us
This ain't no mystery
Our future is our history

I feel alive, and can we try
To leave it better than how it came
Don't be afraid to change
Our love is still the same, still the same, still the same
And here we are (Here we are), we've come so far
Let's leave it better than how it came
Don't be afraid to change
Our love is still the same, still the same, still the same

Sugarland - Still The Same

•••

What do you want

You

Well then come and get me

It has been 3 months. Three months since the dynamic duo of Castle and Beckett not only as partners but as lovers had ended their dance. They didn't want to, but the stress and the sense of it all was too much. They didn't work on paper so the only probable answer was to break up. She was persistent and he was desperate but both had tears in their eyes as they departed with one final kiss. But since then, he had not been by the precinct, not once, and each one of those days has been painfully dreadful for Beckett.

She missed him. Every fiber, every muscle aches with heartbreak as she had no one to scold for crazy theories, and no one to playfully flirt with. Not to mention no one to kiss when she was ending her day. There were countless times when she had considered calling him, not only to just hear his voice but to update him on their newest case, maybe get a theory out of it. But she held her tongue. This was for the best. There were too many things that could go wrong and she didn't want to risk all the good things when the consequences seemed too great. She cared about him so much, so so much, and she didn't want to hurt him, but by hurting him she was protecting him from her. She was a flight risk, she would run at the first sign of trouble and bury her head in the sand when faced with serious talk. She has had too many bad things happen to her that all she wants now is for something to work. But she doesn't think she'll ever get that.

Beckett was walking home from the precinct that night. It was a beautiful night and she needed the extra time to think. To breathe. It was 10:24pm the last time she checked the time as she left the precinct. She was about halfway home when she decided to stop for a drink. To maybe clear her mind more. Or get drunk. Either would take her mind off of Rick. The one person she always thought about. She would've gone to The Old Haunt but that was his bar, and if she ran into him there it would only make things worse. And she didn't want worse. All she wanted was better. Happier.

She entered a bar called The Lucky Star and sat down at the counter ordering a Manhattan on the rocks with a side of curly fries. Comfort food. Yum. Her drink came first and she quickly gulped it down enjoying the burn in her throat. Anything was better than him. Than thinking about him. Than missing him. Than loving him.

By the time she got her fries her first drink was done so she ordered another. The seasoned fries tasted good on her tongue, the tingling sensation from the pepper leaving an imprint on both her lips and tongue. As had Castle's lips the first time the pair of them met. Why did everything remind her of him? She took quick sips of her drink to try and drown out the one that got away and continued to munch on her fries as the night dragged on. She was on her second batch of fries and her fifth drink when her eyes began to feel heavy. She should probably get going. She had about another twenty minutes to go before she reached her apartment and she knew she would never get there if she kept indulging. Beckett decided to finish her fries and final drink and then go.

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